Sorry to meet like this

[Hopeful59]

Hello everyone. About a month ago I found out my DH had been using p for more than two years, probably longer, but that's what he will admit to. To make it worse, he's into the really hard core stuff.

I'm currently dealing with the pain of betrayal, disloyalty, infidelity and the lies, lies, lies that I've been told over the years so he could cover his trail. Never mind that this "habit" of his is, IMO, vile, filthy, immoral ... you get the idea. It is so hearbreaking to find out that you're married to a stranger.

DH has sworn that he has quit and will not use again. He knows our marriage is on the line. I want to believe him, but the trust between us has been obliterated.

And, so, here I am - the last place one earth I wanted to be.

[Hopeful]

Hi Hopeful59,

I'm so sorry you have had to find yourself here but I can tell you that this is the place to be right now. You will find so many caring people that will help you to get through this.

It is devastating and hard to cope with all that pain alone. You are not alone anymore.

Welcome to TTF and I love your name!

[JenMac]

Hi Hopeful59!
Welcome to TTF! Yes it is a sad thing that we find ourselves here but I have to tell you that you are here amongst some of the most kind and helpful people I know! I know that the first few weeks are so very difficult and it seems hard to even keep our head above water! I remember seeking out support on the internet as well and stumbling on TTF! What a Godsend it has been for me!
I joined here last April after discovering this dreadful secret in March. My H committed to recovery and joined here shortly after I did. We have been here ever since and it has been so helpful in both of our recoveries and the recovery of our relationship.
I know that you are dealing with a lot of pain, hurt, distrust, anger, sorrow, grief.......at this time. I know I found it helpful to be able to get my thoughts out in the form of a journal. It enabled me to not only recognize and organize my thoughts but to let go of them a little bit too.
I am glad you are here Hopeful59! You will find many kind and caring SOs here who have a wealth of experience to share with you! They are so absolutely awesome and I know they will welcome you with open arms!
Wishing all the best to you as you walk this path! It is a hard road but I know that I have found out how strong I can be in the midst of all of this chaos. I know you will too!
...thinking of you...
Jenn

[brokentrust]

I'm new here and have all those feelings. My spouse is in a group to help with his problem, but after all the lies I am doubting if I will ever trust him again. The love is still there but the lies destroy everything.

[NewHope10]

Hi Hopeful59...

I'm so sorry that you find yourself here...but am pleased that you are here! You will find soooooooo much support and help at TTF...and you will find that you are not alone in all of this! We understand. We are/have been there.

The last discovery for me was September 6th. I joined TTF just a few days after that - and I'm so glad I did.

As Jenn mentioned above...it really does help to start a journal here and write, write, write...anything you want! You may kick and scream and cry and rant and yes...even eventually laugh. I find it really helps get all those swirling thoughts out of my head and into my journal. Plus...the other SO's can offer so much good advice and encouragement - and, imporantly...hope.

It is not an easy journey, but it does get better (even though it may not feel that way right now). I remember the first few weeks after this last discovery - I was not in a good place. I remember all the anger and the numbness and the bitterness. I still have a lot to work through, but...because of what I have learned here (and continue learning here) from the SO's - it has been so very helpful. I'm sure you will get to know this as well.

Hoping you find some peace tonight.

[Cupcakemomma]

Well, Jen and NH pretty much covered all the bases, so I'll just say welcome, sorry you are here, but glad you found it. This is a pretty great places to deal with not so great stuff.>:D<

[JenMac]

Hey BrokenTrust!
Welcome! Why not introduce yourself in the new member's forum?
Glad you are here!
Jenn