wools

[Confused]

Hello,
My name is Ray, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to give my name or not. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do. I guess I'll start with some history of myself and my family. I'm from a big family of 10 Brothers and 1 Sister, I was the baby, I get reminded of that everytime I'm around my siblings. My parents were married for 51 yrs my Mother died @ 73 in 1995, My Father @ 79 in 2001. Most of my siblings have passed away, I have only 3, Brothers left and my Sister. I've been in Corrections for 8 yrs, sometimes it can be a demanding occupation. I was raised in a christain based home, wich meant you followed the letter of the law, Pharresutical Laws, no excuses. I left home when I was 16, I moved in to my Sisters, I couldnt take the rules. I joined the Navy when I was 17 I had to make my way in this world. I was in a car accident when I was 20, it messed me up really bad, I died 3 times. I dont know what to do, I dont know if all that has anything to do with it or not. But I guess I'm the one who is in control and it is my problem. Would someone please help me? This is not working for me I'm not sure anymore whats going on. I'm going to lose my wife and my family if I dont quit, but for some reason I always go back to it. I'm good for a week or 10 days and I think I'm in control, then I click on an e-mail, and it starts again. I know its my problem but it seems like I'm out there all by myself, with nobody to talk to or that will listen. Nobody who will help me to identify why this continues to happen, I really need help. I'm not sure if my marraige is gonna make it thru the nite, will some1 please respond?

[MyNameIsMatt]

Tough place it be in, no doubt about that. Like you, I quit and relapsed many times. That is until I took it seriously, which was 41 days ago.

First, close that email account and open a new one. All accounts, especially public ones (yahoo, msn, gmail) eventually get passed around so many times that the only real way to control the spam is to close and start fresh. Understandably you might not be about to out and out close it immediately, but create a new daily one. Check the old one once a week, once a month, until all of those little odd's and end's have been realized and correctly changed. Since I "closed" mine, I've realized that I needed to update my paypal, pharmacy, and health insurance. I am sure that in a few months I'll find another one or two that need to be changed over to the new email. The key is not getting into that email account every hour, every day.

Delete the old bookmarks and history if you haven't already.

Install K9 Web Protection. Ideally someone else will be the only to know the admin password, but even if that is not possible, it still would give you a second change to rethink your actions before you follow thru.

While many posts here at TTF are worth reading, two that were noteworthy in aiding in my early days of recovery:
Strategies for avoiding past mistakes - TTF community forums
As a recovering PA, what advice would you give to someone who is trying to quit? - TTF community forums

It has always sounded cliche to me, but once I thought about it, and applied it to my situation, a light went on and has really helped... One Day At A Time. I'm not going to worry about next week or next month. I'm not worried about being clean for 1 year. I focus on being clean and staying clean today. I'll worry about tomorrow in the morning.

[Confused]

Thanks for the advice, me and the wife are going to try and clean this up together. I'm gonna spam the ones that are obvious, and I'm letting her delete the ones were you have to go on the site to clear the link. hopefully this will show her I'm seriuos about making this work with action.


P.S. I will try out those links you suggested .

[Noname1969]

You might want to use gmail it's sends a lot of the P junk into the spam folder. I rarely if ever get P span.
You should go to Opendns and sign up and install their software. If you have a router it can be done on the router, there's information how. You have to configure some settings on the site to block P and A content.

You should write a daily journal, if you're not comfortable writing a public one on here you can write a private one.


I personally use some "tools" that I read in the book called "Awakened the Giantwithin" It's a very good book that can help you.

Amazon.com: Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny! (9780671791544): Anthony Robbins: Books

You should limit or stop eating meat on a daily basis. Meat is known to drive up the S drive in people especially males.

[City Fool]

Ray,

I guess you can use any name you choose, just limit any other personal information on the site for your own saftey.
The site is secure but it's just good to keep things loose.

I'm going to assume you've taken time to read some of the site's guidelines and suggestions for new comers and those who are starting recovery.
Direct replies to your posts will (Or should be....) supportive and informative but the information for making a recovery plan that is already in place is a great way to start. Much of the suggestions are tried and true and based on common sense and tons of personal experience.
I liked reading your sentence, ".....me and the wife are going to try to clean this up together."
That's a good attitude and I hope your wife has or will join the site as well.
Don't take recovery lightly and don't beat yourself a lot about the past. Set you eyes on the future but be prepared for a battle.
I've never read or heard about anyone having a difficult time becoming an addict. But recovery isn't easy. If it were, the site wouldn't be here.
You have a lot at stake and the harder you work, the quicker you'll progress.
Visit and read and post often.

Good Luck,

CF

[theotheri]

I don't think numbing his sex drive is the answer noname. It's about channeling his sexual urges to his wife.

You might want to use gmail it's sends a lot of the P junk into the spam folder. I rarely if ever get P span.
You should go to Opendns and sign up and install their software. If you have a router it can be done on the router, there's information how. You have to configure some settings on the site to block P and A content.

You should write a daily journal, if you're not comfortable writing a public one on here you can write a private one.


I personally use some "tools" that I read in the book called "Awakened the Giantwithin" It's a very good book that can help you.

Amazon.com: Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny! (9780671791544): Anthony Robbins: Books

You should limit or stop eating meat on a daily basis. Meat is known to drive up the S drive in people especially males.