New here, and hurting

[Suzaku]

Thank you everyone. I'd do it by name again, but I'm posting from the phone.

I went to sleep around 7 this morning, woke up at 11 to a phone call from my H's step-dad. His mother had a seizure at work this morning, doesn't remember a thing, and now we're in ER waiting to hear what the DR has found out. Nohistory of epilepsy.

The timing is so bizarre and it hasn't sunk in yet.

[debv]

I thanked you above because I recognized myself in your post. I am an outgoing, chatty person and my H is very reserved and quiet most of the time. I feel alone even when I am with him, very often, because he doesn't talk at all. If I didn't talk to him first I think we'd barely ever talk at all.

That said, I'm horribly sorry for the situation you are in. If you are comfortable going to marriage counseling, do it. He should see a psychiatrist and look at depression meds. He's in a very scary place and needs professional help.

Re not sleeping in the bed with your H, I just moved back into my own bed from the guest bed, where I'd been living since January. There's a lot more to it than just P in my marriage, but I couldn't stand for him to touch me, look at me, or be near me for a long time. I'm getting better about that. I still don't know if I'll be able to let him touch me sexually again, which will understandably kill the marriage, but at least I don't break down in tears and hysterics when he touches me.

[Charly22]

Whew, you are dealing with alot of heavy stuff right now, hang in there. Know that we are here, listening, and understanding.

I hope all works out with mom-n-law...prayers for you and your family

[NewHope10]

Hi there. I am a SO (wife) of a PA. I'm so sorry for what you are going through - but am glad you found this site. There are so many people here who have walked before us who are able to help!

Just know that you are not alone!

My thoughts are with you!

[Suzaku]

Quick update. CAT scan, everything else they ran so far is normal. DRs can't tell us anything yet.

Now our landlord is wanting to show our apartment to potential tenants in the next day or two (originally he called this afternoon to see if today was fine!) without either of us being there. We have till the end of the month to be out...and he blew off my concern about our pets and valuables/documents walking off.

I'm looking for the hidden cameras, wondering what else is gonna happen today...

[Crisodian]

Suzaku,

OUCH. I think like you I'd be wondering when someone else was going to jump out and yell something like Surprise!

I'm so sorry for all you are dealing with right now. Try to make 5 minutes for yourself and take a few deep breaths. As much as you can, deal with one thing at a time. And, more important than ever, take care of youself. Don't forget to eat and sleep and make some time for you to decompress.

When my life goes haywire, which it has on occasion, the only thing that sometimes keep me sane is finding 5 minutes to re-center myself. There's no fun way to be the rock and foundation for 10 things at once.

Find peace. Our thoughts are with you.

~C~

[Kathy]

Hello Suzaku, I am a SO (Kathy...it's been a week) of a PA (Chasman62) - feel free to read our journals...

I feel for you...I hope your 'h' gets introduced to TTF and then your relationship can thrive...

Yes, TTF is a wonderful site/place to be. I wish you the best on your journey...

Thinking of you...
Kathy