Where To Start

[infoloop]

I am looking for help and don't know how or where to start.

I got into this stuff at a time in my life when I was lonely and bored. Now I have a wonderful girlfriend and I am in fear she will find out the true me. I just want to know how to get this out of my life and so far I have failed over and over. Today is the first day and I want a new life one where I do the things I want to do with my time.

I want a better life and I want to drop this addiction and I feel powerless.

I am looking for advice and help from anyone looking to listen. how do I stop what are the steps I can take today.

help,
infoloop

[downthedrains]

even though i am a newcomer, i think this is the right place to come or any other forum for the matter. lots of resources and helpful people here for any of your problems/questions.

more than the help you'll get from us, the fact that you are trying to help yourself is half the recovery. i am 3 days into recovery and i've noticed the thing help me most is talking about it, writing about it, and ensuring that the motivation i have to quit is far overwhelming the temporary constant urges i get.

So write yourself a something of a plan and stick to it dearer than your life. you even have a gf, do you know how much it'd hurt her if she found out about this? well choice is yours quit now. do something more constructive with your time. i've developed new hobby in last 3 days. have been watching lots of harmless tv (simpson et al).

One thing i've started now is to advise and help others here to quit. it serves many purpose.
a) builds a community helping and motivating each other
b) if i am preaching others to quit, doesnt look good if i view it myself, makes me a hypocrite. so i can't view it myself as long as i tell others to quit.
c) the time i am posting and writing here, i am not thinking of dirty stuff. so that is that much time less spend on P, which is great.
d) even if i lose my focus in future, but 3 days into recovery, i feel great. and this post will always remind me the great feeling i felt today, so should i go back to P in future, i'll have some courage to start again. Good luck!!

[Mac]

Welcome to TTF, Infoloop
You have already taken a good step in the right direction by coming here. I really admire the fact that you have realized on your own you have a problem and have obviously sought out some help. You have come to the point where you want to do something about your addiction to P, now you need to find the inspiration to get away from P and stay away. There is a pile of resourses on this site if you do some digging, make use of them all. There are are some good books out there. The Porn Trap was one that I found to be quite good. Stopping for your girlfriend is a good inspiration but that is not enough. You have to stop for yourself. I'm sure you will get lots of replies to this post, there are lot of PA's on this site that will have some good advice for you. I have only been free from P for 5 1/2 months and I know for me the first few months were spent trying to save my marriage and during that initial phase i was so involved with learning all i could about the industry and its affects on ones mind, body and soul as well as coming to understand the real life abuses that take place within the industry I didn't have any time to really think about using.
Use your computer for finding information that can help you instead of what is going to sink you in the end. In fact just stay away from your computer if you don't need to use it. Change your daily patterns. If you are having urges, go for a walk. Install a filter on your computer ( K-9) seek out professional councilling.
Talk to a trusted friend. Telling someone about your problems is a huge step. I know some people talk to a pastor or minister.
Do what you can to equip yourself with all the amunition you can find against P
Hang in there and make sure you read any answers to your post.

All the best
Mac

[infoloop]

It's so easy to fall into this stuff. It's gotten worse recently I had a roommate who moved out and now I have more time alone. I want to change my life I want to do great things. Thanks

[mell]

(quote)
I want a better life and I want to drop this addiction and I feel powerless.

help,
infoloop


Infoloop,

Welcome and thanks for posting. I started here as a way to spend time on the computer productively vs destructively.

I admire your honesty. Admitting you feel powerless is a big step.

I have tried to single handedly fight my addiction in the past, it doesn't work. I am powerless is the key phrase. I can only recover through the help of others.

Best wishes in your recovery. You are worth it! Keep reading and keep posting. There is a lot of help and knowledge in these pages.

-Mell

[chasman62]

I want a better life and I want to drop this addiction and I feel powerless

You may feel powerless but you are not! We have all been where you are right now (some of us until quite recently). You have recognized that you have a problem and you want to deal with it. That is the biggest and most difficult step of all. Read some of the journals of the PAs on here to see how long it took some of them to gain and that insight and what they risked to support their habit. You have everything to gain from your decision and NOTHING to lose....just a worthless and maybe costly habit.

You have the ability within yourself to beat this. Having this community here will help you as it has helped me but it starts and ends with you. You can control your impulses and not let them control you. As others have said here read the articles, develop a plan and stick to it. Start a journal here. Doesn't have to be anything profound just a place to get your thoughts out.

Welcome!

Chas

[infoloop]

Thanks everyone for the advice. The first 24 hours are up and I am still headed in the right direction. How do I start this journal. I think it would be good for me.

thanks

[chasman62]

There is a section in the Forums called Recovery Journals. Just start a new thread in there (with a title for your journal) and start writing.

I would also recommend reading many of the journals in there. They will help you realize that you are not alone in this struggle and provide a lot of inspiration.

Best of luck. As I said previously you have already overcome the most difficult hurdle of all accepting that you a problem and that you need to solve it.

Chas

[infoloop]

Chas,

I was just reading your journal. thanks for the comments and story.

InfoLoop