Starting w an introduction...looking forward to starting a journal

[zeus]

Hello-
I am a newlywed and we have had major intimacy issues for our entire relationship. I have always suspected that his interest in porn was more than what could be considered "normal" or "harmless," but in recent months it has become completely clear that he is addicted...so clear even he is no longer able to deny it.

Thankfully we don't have any children to complicate the situation. , I am closing in on my mid-thirties and would like to have children, but am worried that my current situation won't resolve itself quickly enough (one way or another) to still have that as an option.

I am wrestling with whether to ask him to move out while we try to work on things. The first few months of our marriage have been incredibly exhausting and my emotions are all over the place. I also recognize that I have been an enabler of this and other destructive behaviors and I seem to be the one bearing the brunt of the destruction.

I am have been very succesful in a demanding career, but my focus is shot these days. I've even considered taking an LOA to try get my head cleared up.

Anyway, this is probably a lot of detail for a simple introduction. I am looking forward to joining in this community and getting another avenue for support.

[JenMac]

Hi Zeus!
Welcome to TTF! I am sorry for your situation but I am glad you found your way here! It is really the best place you can be at this time! There are many wise and supportive people here who will lend an ear and an encouraging word when you need one.

I have been a member here for the last few months and have found great comfort in being a part of this site. My H is also a member and is working hard to overcome his addiction and to repair the damage it has done to our relationship. We pondered more than once whether we needed to part to come to terms with the destruction of our marriage. My thought at the time was, how will that help us repair, if that is what we are meant to do? At that time, I had no idea if I wanted to repair or if we could repair our marriage but I knew that by being apart, we would be moving away from each other rather than coming together in any way. In our case, the P stopped upon discovery and to me that was another all important factor. Having said that, I would not presume to give you advice on your situation. You are the only one who knows the status of your marriage and the toll it has taken on you. I would only say that if there is any risk of abuse, then I would be out in a second.
I am sorry you are finding this all consuming. I completely understand that as I have been there too. If a LOA is possible, it may be something you want to consider seriously. Sometimes we need to just focus on ourselves and our emotional wellbeing. If you need it and can manage it, then do what is best for yourself at this time.
I know this will sound ridiculous but try to take the time to find soothing things for yourself. You need to separate yourself from this a bit and find ways to pamper your body and mind. This is important! We bury ourselves in this and risk much in the process.
Thinking of you....
Jenn

[Sonomette]

Zeus!

So glad to see you here, and so happy you got your posting rights!:D