Hello everyone

[sonoma]

hey everyone,
I just wanted to say a quick I and Introduce myself to the community. I recently found this website and sent the link to my wife. She was ready to leave me after looking through my history on my computer recently (and this had happed quite a few dozen times before). I am ready to change my life, and I hope that she will see that.
The day I sent her the link, I was really surpirised to learn that she had actually spent her ENTIRE day reading articles on the site while I was at work....wow. We are actually talking alot more than we havein years about this, rather than fighting about it, but I still know it's going to be a very long road.

[JenMac]

Welcome to TTF Sonoma!
I hope you will come to realize just how fortunate you are to have found TTF! I know that is how I feel!
My H and I have been members for a few months now and it is a true blessing to us in this time of our lives!
You will find many wise and wonderful people here who can give you lots of encouragement and sometimes a kick just when you feel you may need it most. There is nothing, (I really believe this), like the support of people who have walked your walk and have accomplished their goals of overcoming it. Their wisdom and strength can help you to set yourself up for success too!
All the best to you as you move ahead. I am glad your wife will be joining us too! She will gain as much from the people here as well!
Take care!
Jenn

[sonoma]

thanks jenn!
yeah, I think she did actually join and make a account actually, although I don't know what HER user name is lol.
it's ok, the point is for once IM actually doing something about it rather than TELLING her I'm doing something about it....huge difference.
It absolutely amazes me just how many stories on here sound so familiar to ours. I really had no idea how far the scope of this problem was in society. Maybe that's the "denial" part of me talking ;) lol. seriouly though, so many stories on here sound like a play-by-play of arguments my wife and I have had over the years.

I am so glad I found this site. Until recently, I thought like many people with PA that it really wasn't that big of a deal.......DISPITE how much my wife told me over and over how much it hurt herand how serious she was about leaving me. Add to that the fact I cheated on her about 7 years ago, would flirt with all her friends, and STILL never saw a problem with looking at P.

It all really hit me about 4 moths ago actually that I SEROUSLY needed to change, although I have been trying and failing for years. I had attempted a half-a$$ed plan, without any real support like this site, for a little bit.....but like always it didn't really work, and then of course, my wife busted me ....again. She saw my internet history. Like every time before, she threatened to leave.....this time though, she actually whipped out a credit card I didn't know about and started buying a plane ticket .....WHOA.

.......SO, here I am , trying to really, honestly get some real help instead of TELLING her I'm TRYING to stop, but not really doing anything about it.

[Sonomette]

Now you know my user name, sonoma.

I am so very glad you're here. There's more hope for our relationship now than there has been in years, maybe ever.

[sonoma]

oh, there she is^^^^^^^^^^^^^;)

[Sonomette]

City Fool,
Thank you for your good wishes. I think this will be a good start.

I have to comment on your sentiment that you wish more for recovery for PA/SA's with SO's than those who are currently single. The ones with SO's do cause a lot of pain on people who don't deserve it, to be sure.... but the very fact that the SO is here and is trying means that that particular PA/SA has at least a bit of a support system. For the PA/SA's without anyone, it must be terribly lonely and isolating. They don't have anyone to fall back on.

Which is better? Having someone who will be angry and hurt when you fall, but will help celebrate your victories with you.... or having no one there to help pick you back up if you fall, and no one to tell you you've done well when you deserve that praise?

Food for thought.

At any rate, SO or no So... I hope everyone in here finds whatever it is that they are looking for, and can look towards the future with hope rather than shame. My best to you,City Fool, and I sincerely hope that your struggle is replaced by a sense of confidence and self worth.