First Post

[Admin2]

Dear City Fool,

Thank and you welcome to TTF. I can assure you Throughtheflame.org is a very serious site focussed in helping those affected by Pornography addiction.

I am sorry that you encountered initial problems in posting, I appreciate this can be very frustrating. We are aware that there are a few bugs when viewing this site through firefox, so please do check the forum help section for information on this, and ensure you are using the latest version of Firefox.

Secondly with regards to you losing your post, web sessions are set to timeout through inactivity after 10 minutes, however this can be over ridden by your ISP and exchange. If you do encounter a timeout again, rather than clicking on the back button, simply login again, and you will see a button called proceed, click on this and you will find your post will have been saved via local cache.

Alternatively if you aware that you will be typing a long post, it would be advisable to type it in a local word application and then copying and pasting into the forum.

Wishing you the best of success in combating this addiction.

Kind Regards

on behalf of the TTF Team

[Mac]

City Fool

Welcome to the TTF site. Sorry to see your rough start with losing your first post. I know the feeling, as my first post was lost as well. It takes a lot of courage to make your first entry and you pour your heart and soul into what you want to say and then to lose it, very frustrating!.
I have started to copy what i have written before i submit it, this has saved me a few times since.
Anyway I'm glad to see you on this site, I'm sure you will get a lot of great support here, I know I certainly have.
It took me a while to really get going on the site but have come to be a daily user now. I have been in recovery for just about 5 months now and I give a lot of credit to the people here for helping me stay P free. My wife is also an active member of TTF so we both get a lot of support here.
Having your own journal is a great idea as well. Again this is something that took me a while to get to and I wish i had started sooner.
Make sure you take full advatage of what this site has to offer.
Wishing you all the best

Mac

[Daniel]

I don't want to get involved only to find I've bought a dozen mongrel dogs from Nigeria at $12,000. each.

Awesome.

City Fool -bonus points for completely intact sense of [very dry] humor!

Welcome to TTF!

Daniel

[artguy34]

Welcome to TTF City Fool,

The first thing I wish to say to you is "Thank You" for serving in our Military. Serving for over 30 years is serious dedication, and we all owe men and women like you a debt of gratitude! ^:)^

As far as your history and your PA, I hope you find some comfort in writing out many of the things that are bothering you. And Please spend some time viewing journals and reading the wealth of information here at TTF.

Many topics have been discussed in regards to PA at this site, so you may be surprised to find that someone is very similar to you. If not, then at least there are some good people who will listen to you and try to help you out along the way.

I wish you luck on your journey to recovery and I look forward to reading your journal and future posts with you!

AG

[OpenEyes]

Hi City Fool,

I am a PA and I can tell you, that for me, at least, that cry you were talking about helps. It sucks, you feel like a weakling, and a baby. Do it. It realeases a hell of a lot of tension and that tension may be adding to your pa.

I will urge you to review the resourses section and articles. They help direct you to more information, so you can see the P industry in even better perspective and understand the workings of the PA mind. You are in therapy and that is great, keep it up.

Come to this site often, read and or post as often or not, as you choose. Being single, looking for what is out there and wanting to avoid the P industry sites and P type singles set is going to be tough but there are credible dating sites that may help you a lot. Just a suggestion.

It seems you have a good handle on what you are working on. I urge you to make a list of reasons to give up P, and leave that list near the PC so that you have a ready reminder. Also, K-9 or similar software may help you with an extra barrier. Make the password really long and hard, then keep it on a paper in your bible, or under an important military award you are proud of. This will remind you of who you want to be, and who you are, before you relapse. Again a small trick that may save you from relapse. To my knowledge, almost every PA has a pretty big deficientcy in the emotional department, wether it is opening up, being able to share or arrested emotional development, we all have some sort of emotional problem. Think of that, and remember that the cry can help you.

Treat PA as another addiction. Alcoholics trying to recover do not keep booze in the house, so get rid of all you P, install the filter on the PC and go as far as you can to rid yourself of the times you are weakest. If those times are just your alone time, then work on a hobby that takes some skill, like building birdhouses or building models, painting them and maybe selling them on the internet. If you like gardening, work on your own or volunteer to help on one close to you. Again, these are all suggestions to occupy large amounts of time and develop a bit of skill and maybe give you a sense of accomplishment when you finish a project.

I wish you strength through this tough time.
Semper Fidelis

[maggie]

CF

You mention alcohol, cigarettes and other vices cloaked in virtue. I agree.

But, the PA problem is much stronger, since it forces its user to hide out, isolate himself from others, and engage in this addiction in private.

This secretive aspect of PA, seeking a thrill in total privacy, has to escalate this addiction rapidly. Smoking on the front porch or having a few drinks with the guys would pale in comparison. Hence... the hook !