Just starting to deal

[plzhelp]

For the past few years I would find random innappropriate things stored in his phone, and on the computer. We would argue, he would apologize, then it was over. Recently it has become apparent that there is a BIG problem. I can't deal with this alone. I have told him I want a divorce if he continues. He says he wants to go to counseling, but that was weeks ago. I am afraid to believe him. I don't want to fall for being a dummy again. I am so hurt and angry that he would tear up his family over this. I do love him, he is a good person, but has a serious problem that is ruining our family. I just want to be able to get through this. I know it will take a lot of patience, but I'm not sure if he is truly ready himself.

[dave42]

Hi Plzhelp:

First of all...Welcome! We are very glad you are here. I'm so sorry for all the pain you are going through. I'm a porn addict, so I can tell you that I can't really honestly say that I know what you are going through, but I CAN say that I have hurt my partner so, so much and that it is heart-wrenching. This site is full of people like me who want to quit, really, really, really want to quit, but we have been in deep denial about our problem for years. Sigh...I hope that that helps. I know that there are lots of wives, partners, and girlfriends here who will be able to comfort you much better than I can--they are going through many of the same emotions you are going through. But I can say that I'm so sorry for the horrible emotions you are experiencing.

I hope your husband joins this site. We are a bunch of people trying to encourage each other. We understand the incredible addictive "pull" of pornography, and we know how difficult it is to stop.

May God hold you in the palm of his hand as you go through these tough days. If your husband feels like it, have him at least read some of the posts here. I'm thinking he'll say the same thing I said when I first came here--wow, it's good to finally find a bunch of guys who are dealing with the same problems.

My warmest regards to you and your husband. Here's to healing!!!!

Dave

[Life-lies-trust]

plzhelp,
I am sorry you find yourself here. You will find support and understanding with the SO's here. We run the full range of emotions and they run in cycles for me. HUGS to you because you need one and right now you do not trust your H. I found out about this in December and I'm still dealing with the anger, sadness, the self dought that I know what a lie is and what one is not.

Read the journals of both SO's and PA's it does help for understanding. Have him take one of the test about are you an addict. There are support groups out there depending on your life. Then start a journal for yourself, either here or on paper for you.

Hugs and chocolate to you.:((~X(