Hello

[Ali]

Hi everyone,

I've actually been a member of ttf since mid-February but the morning after I joined I left for a trip outside the country and didn't get a chance to post until now. The trip was with social justice and peace class I'm in and we went to the Dominican Republic for a little over a week. The trip had a significant effect on me. I feel before the trip, my problem with P and MB was at a peak - I could not go a few days without reverting to those acts. On the trip however, I was able to get away from computers, technology, in short, everything which drew me into those acts and away from experiencing, well, life.
After the trip, I was able to continue my success until finally I succumbed terribly today. 25 days, a measure of success especially considering my troubles before the trip, yet I feel I've again fallen into the abyss.
Friends, I'm now 20 years old and I've had this problem for around 6 years. I want so badly to overcome it, so badly to lead a life free these things that seem to hang like such black clouds over me wherever I go, and, in the end, to live with more dignity.
To whoever reads this, thank you for your patience with my long post and any advice you could share would be greatly appreciated.
Ali

[Desert Ghost]

Ali,

Here is something that you may find useful - create yourself a support group that you can call on when you are starting to have trouble. So, the support team that you choose should be people that you trust and that understand that you are trying to be free of your addiction. These people should be ones that you can contact at anytime when you are starting to slide. also create an action plan for when you feel the urge coming on that way you can doing things that combat the urge until it passes. I hope that these suggestions are of some use, because they work for me. I am a PA and MB addict and I have a support group of individuals at my place of work which I can call no if I am have trouble. I also have created an action plan to combat the urges when they occur and I have used it several times.

[dave42]

Ali, Welcome! You are very wise to come here for support at the age of 20. There are many people here, like me, who are more than twice your age, and we have been dealing with the problem for decades. So wise to want to stop now, while your whole life is ahead of you.

Your trip to the Dominican Republic sounds wonderful--not only in that you were able to get away from computers, etc. but it helped you get 25 days of being clean under your belt, so congratulations.

I'm sorry about your relapse today, but the good news, the GREAT news, is that you realize you have a problem and you are here to work on it. We are all cheering you on!

I like the way you have put it: "fallen into the abyss," "black clouds," and the other great phrase from your post: "...everything which drew me into those acts and away from experiencing, well, life." So, so true!

Well, here you are posting your first post, and you were already a member before the trip, plus you had 25 days of being clean, so I think you are more ready than many to make huge progress.

You asked for advice: wow, I could write a book! After years of trying, failing, trying again, failing, I guess the best advice I can give you is this:

1. Don't beat yourself up! You are here.
2. Read the beginning posts by our wisest members. Do you know where they are?
3. Write down a simple plan. What 3 things will you do to work on this addiction? For example, I suggest that you install NetNanny (cost is around 25 or 40 dollars) or K9 (free), and get a friend, brother to be the administrator. It doesn't work if you are the administrator, I have found the hard way!! Many other ideas, of course: turning off the computer and then only turning it on for specific purposes. (This is tough for students, of course, but you can come up with boundaries, such as only using your computer in the presence of others, except when...etc., etc.
4. Come here everyday and post something to help someone else. Get involved in the site: it is as useful as you make it.
5. Remember, that everyone here is in the same shoes as you. We are all struggling with this addiction. It's very,very powerful. But the good news is that you know already that you can't do it alone. You need our support and we need yours. I wish I'd been that wise when I was 20!

Write soon and tell us how it's going.

My best wishes for healing,

Dave