New here and ..What is classified as addiction ?

[ConfusedKate]

The whole world it seems is made of "s*x sells" and yes Maggieliz i find it hard to face all those mags of airbrushed young women who would NOT look like that if not for makeup teams, hair teams, a fan and computer imaging software. It sucks to not be able to compete with that and wonder if it is triggering your man and how to deal with that situation opens a whole nother can of worms.

Ken, as an SO who is dealing with this hurt and betrayal and wondering and trying to fix things I can honestly say I do give as much compassion as possible but sometimes I need compassion also and if someone is shut off and trying to deal with the fact they inflicted so much pain on someone that they love, it is hard to always be in uninjured party. Both parties are dealing with what this has done and where to begin to fix things if that is an option. As humans we are born with the "fight or flight" instinct..sometimes a situation involves both and we have to realize when to push (fight) or back down (flight). As much as we are couples we are also individuals dealing with a shared problem both together and on our own. I wish it was only a case of "Here's a hug to go with the forgivness" but most times it is not and that hurts too. I know with my PA that I want to hit him, hug him, hurt him, and love him....there are just so many conflicting emotions at any given time. How do I know when he wants to hold me that it is not because of something that he has seen or just that he does want to hold me?!? So both parties give and try to rebuild and as one that has been throught this too many times that is a hard thing to do. Because I do love him I will honor his efforts and support him but he has to do the same for me as well...we only get what we give in this lifetime./:)

[Mac]

I think the question of what got us PA's started initially, is probably one of the biggest questions we and So's alike struggle to come to terms with. I think it is probablya little different in every case.
I feel I have somewhat answered that question for myself.
1- predisposition to some form of P my whole life
2- getting older and maybe not feeling so good about myself
3- Availability to use porn ( started working from home)
4- Availabilty of porn on the internet
5- Going through a very stressful time in my life due to changes in my job after 30 plus years.
The above is something i arrived at through the help of my therapist although this is something that i still struggle with from time to time. I know it still a biggy for my SO.

Mac