Hello, Everybody

[statler]

I am so glad I found this place. Well, actually my wife, that wonderful lady found it. Anyway, I'm now 28 days clean and it feels great, like I've actually accomplished something! I've gone this long and longer before, but now I'm being completely honest and transparent with my long-suffering wife, and with myself.

I've been lurking for a while: my wife joined a couple of weeks ago, but I can tell already that this group is just what we need. So, thank you, all of you for doing what you've already done for me, and I know, will continue to do.

[dave42]

Welcome Statler! Glad you are here. 28 days is GREAT! And, as you mention, although you have done even longer periods, now you are being completely honest. That has got to be a key ingredient for long-term success. So, hope you write a journal. It might be a good way to record your thoughts, "think" on paper, and keep a record of the way your recovery is unfolding. I didn't do a journal during my initial period of 8 months of being clean, but I think that starting one has helped me, even though I have to admit I've relapsed repeatedly (about 36 days clean, though!).

We would love to hear more about your story. It's good to get it off your chest, maybe. At least it was for me. And it's useful for us to read your story to gain insights from your experience.

So, once again, congratulations on 28 days. That's fantastic!

[statler]

Thanks, Dave. Positive feedback is a wonderful thing. And thank you for being so supportive of everyone here. You rock.

[jd0123]

i am glad you told your wife what is going on, i did the same thing yesterday, was really honest and man did i feel better.

[statler]

I think the only way to deal with something as dark and nasty about ourselves as this is to turn that rock over and keep it flipped. For years it wasn't "a big deal" or "I'm a guy, we're all into porn."

I am sorry to my wife and myself that it took so long for me to see what it'd done to me. My wife had installed Content Barrier on my laptop months before, but in my addiction I thought she didn't check the sites I'd been to anymore. Then she caught me and I only owned up to the one time, still thinking she wouldn't check (actually addiction-driven me forgot all about it). A week later I came home from work and she met me in the driveway with, "I know what you've been up to. It's time you told me the truth." At first I thought she was talking about the romantic weekend I was trying to surprise her with. Nope. She read off the sites I'd been to on seven separate days. And honestly, I couldn't even remember some of them! And they were far nastier than I used to go on. And that truly scared the shit out of me. From then on, I can only be completely honest with me and with her. She's been great, btw. Understandably very upset sometimes and laying into me: which I fully deserve. But she is really trying and I am REALLY trying. For me it's about not getting defensive: very hard, but I'm getting better at it I think.