Sense of feeling alone

[Godschild]

Hello Everyone,

I am 41 y/o newlywed (approx. over one year). I am married to a 'good' man who has yet to understand the depth of my emotional needs. I hope with prayer and time, he will mature into that. Anyway, my concerns are that my use of p has become more pervasive and deviant in my viewing. My husband doesn't know.

My personality is one that is guarded, primarily due to being very sensitive and easily hurt (however, I have excelled in leaps and bounds regarding my response to negativisim). I am an only child, and literally can count 3 bio-family members on one hand. I have a hx of estrangement and abandonment. I was never really encouraged to develop my social skills, I have realized that my mother raised me to be emotionally dependent on her and become the "good daugther". I was subsequently a later bloomer in achieving appropriate emotional development (I didn't obtain my driver's license until the age of 30). As you can tell, this was one of my attempts toward individuation.

I have a few friends that God has blessed me with, which is really beneficial for me, as it reinforces that I am worthy to be loved and not an awkard being. I apologize for my longwinded, but I have a sense of just feeling empty, misunderstoon and alone. I acknowledge that I need to seek out therapy again.

I hope to dialogue...feeling somewhat needy and really want this to stop. After most of my viewing, I am nauseous and somtimes throw up (not self-induced)

[terry7]

I am really sorry to hear about your troubles, never ever have the feeling of loneliness, trust me sister feeling empty is not going to help you in the long run

You have made the first step in seeing that you need help and are willing to try, this is important
I do not want to patronise you but see if you can speak to tour husband do stuff together and start to create the bond and emotional needs you are lacking

Always remember it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog

God willing your faith will pull you through!

[dave42]

Hi Godschild: Thanks for writing! And welcome! hey, I'd say you are in EXACTLY the right place, so give yourself a pat on the back for coming here and sharing your story. We are all struggling, and I hope you know that, simply by writing your story, you have helped me. For example, that fact that you are so knowledgeable about your own situation (I'm not saying that exactly right; I'm trying to say that you are insightful about your development) and so honest about it -- that causes me to think more about my development. So, hang in there! I hope you start a journal. I believe that there is a forum for women here, where you can get specialized support, but please know that we are ALL, everyone of us, cheering you on.

I'm sorry that you sometimes feel empty, misunderstood and alone. I can't say that I know how you feel ( I read somewhere that when people say that they know how you feel, it's a bit presumptuous. I really can't know what empty, misunderstood and alone means for you), but I can say that I often feel alone.

Hang in there!!! We are cheering you on.