Hello from a new member

[Pandora's Hope]

Hi, everyone-
I'm the wife of an internet porn addict. He's tried before to address the problem but not tried seriously enough to succeed. We both think he's finally accepting the scope of the problem- I caught him coming home from work for hours at a time to surf internet porn, and the subject matter on the sites of choice was getting grosser and grosser. He's still on probation at work, so the disappearing act was a real threat to our financial security, to say nothing about what it's done to my self-esteem, which at times is pretty bad now. I'm grateful to find this group so I don't feel so isolated as we both work through the crap created by this addiction. He's going to counseling now for it. One day at a time, I guess. Thanks to you all for being there- i don't know what I'd have done if I hadn't found this group!

[FoolishMind]

Hi Pandora's Hope, and Im glad you can take at least a small sigh of releif from finding this site, as it truly has helped many individuals who have been addicted to P, as well as giving some great advice to wives and partners who have been affected by loved ones addicted to P.

Both you and your husband have a quite a journey ahead of you, and they are both different journeys that you have to go through yourselves, yet with support of each other. The key to succeeding in this, is being completley honest with each other, and yourselves. Once everything is out in the open your Husband needs to focus, and there are many posts on here that will explain the steps to be taken to acheive this and exactly what one should be focussed on.

Keep having a look through the site and just post any questions you have as you go along, and all members here will be more than happy to assist.

Stay strong, people can change and change for the better!

FM

[dave42]

Wow, Pandora's Hope: You do have a serious problem. Give yourself credit for trying to solve this with your husband. I'm so sorry that your husband's addiction has caused so much grief. sigh.... this is a great reminder to all of us (like me) addicted to p -- we need to remember how much is at stake.

I agree with Foolish Mind's words here: "The key to succeeding in this, is being completley honest with each other, and yourselves. Once everything is out in the open your Husband needs to focus, and there are many posts on here that will explain the steps to be taken to acheive this and exactly what one should be focussed on." I think that I could be even more honest with my partner. I should be. sigh...I'm pretty honest, but there is room for improvement. As for focus, yes, Foolish Mind is right there, too, he needs to focus. So do I. So does everyone here with this addiction. Good luck to you and thanks for reminding us of how serious this situation is!

[Lucie]

Hi Pandora, I also just joined today and am at the beginning of what I'm sure is going to be an interesting journey that I didn't even begin to think I would have to go through with my husband. I started a journal last night and it really helped me clear my head, maybe it will help you too? There is a section just for SO journals. Does your husband know about this website? There seems to be a lot of great people on here that could support him through this too.

Take care

[Pandora's Hope]

We've got quite the journey ahead of us, but fortunately we've gotten completely honest with each other- and he shared with a third party to help increase his accountability. I'm grateful for this site and all of you, and for my husband finally figuring out how serious his problem had become! Thanks for being there, and I look forward to becoming a regular here. It's amazing how much it helps to just break the isolation. I showed this site to my husband as well, and he's planning to check it out thoroughly and probably join soon as well. Thanks again for making me feel welcome, understood, and not alone. >:D<

[gonnamakeit]

dear Pandora

i don't know if being a p addict myself, i should be commenting on your post, but some things came to my mind and i want to share them.

i think that the fact that you can help your husband is great. you know what his problem is and that he needs help.

don't let his addiction affect your self esteem. i think my wife is great, love her very much, and in no way the fact that i've used p has meant that i like better what i see. in fact i don't. i like my wife better. it is a compulsion that we can't neither explain nor understand. in fact we are deeply embarassed by this behavior.

Bear with him, but don't feel less for yourself.
good luck