Helping Words Needed!!!

[Many6]

Hey everyone....
Hope everyone's P-free :D. I am a 14 year old dude and i started MB and P almost two years back. Just after 4 or 5 months, I felt that it was wrong and I had to stop it. It's been 2 years since then and i am still trying to stop ~X(. During the last 8 or 9 months, I think I have made a very good change. I used to MB and P almost every day but I now only break the pattern once every week or two.
It's been like this for many months. I hate doing this. I feel like killing myself every time I do it. I would really like it if u could give me some advice. I felt lonely before but now that I have found this site, It really gives me confidence. I would love it if u all could just show that u are with me and we are together!:)
Waiting...

[FoolishMind]

Hi Many6 and welcome to TTF. I am intrigued at your age realising that this is wrong. Can I ask you to elaborate where this started and how long you have been exposed to P, as well as why you realised it is wrong.

Thanks in advance

FM

[dave42]

Good luck, Many6! I liked this sentence of yours: "I would love it if u all could just show that u are with me and we are together!" Hey, we are ALL with you and we are ALL together, struggling. Hey, I have to say this, you are wise to want to stay away from p. at your young age. Good luck! I agree with Foolish Mind, tell us more. What kinds of plans do you have for resisting the urge to look at p? What will you do the next time you feel tempted to look? What will you do if you mess up and make a mistake? I mean, a LOT of guys stay away from p for a while, but, then when they get weak and look, they don't try to pick themselves up and get clean again, you know? I wonder if you have a plan for both of these situations. "The next time I feel tempted to look at p, I'll...." and "If I do look at p, as soon as possible I'll..." These kinds of plans help me a bit.


Good luck!

[Many6]

Really thanks friends for being with me.:)
This whole thing started when i was 12 and a half year old. I guess I started MB first but then it started coming with P. This shit almost went for like two years now. So I have been exposed to it for 2 years.
Why I realised it was wrong? Mmmm....Too many answers for that one! I just hated myself after doing it. I knew it wasn't natural and it was not accepted by my culture and religion. I just kinda made up my mind to stop doing it but it didn't prove that easy. That was where the struggle began.

I had made up many plans for staying away from P. The best plan was to make up my mind never to do it again. I even gradually went to installing parental-control software to force me not to look at it again. It worked pretty well, but then it didn't block out all the soft P and I couldn't sometimes keep away from the urge.

My best plan to resist the urge is to "Think about who I am and what this will make me". Another great way to resist is to come regularly at this site. It really helps to read how others are combating this situation.

"I mean, a LOT of guys stay away from p for a while, but, then when they get weak and look, they don't try to pick themselves up and get clean again, you know?" Believe me Dave, this has happened to many times. The best strategy in this situation, I think, is to gather all your willpower and try one last effort to close whatever you are going to watch before you watch it. Then just think for a few seconds what are you about to do. Just let your mind clear off from all the rubbish. Forget that this happened.
Control the addiction, Don't let it control you!

Thanks again Dave and Foolishmind. I will never be able to thank you guys for your support. Any other thing you guys would like to ask?

[Many6]

Thanks again everyone.....Any more suggestions?:D

[dave42]

Wow: you seem very mature for your age. Good for you for being so wise about this problem. I guess the thing that impressed me the most was that you installed the parental filter. That is fantastic. Too bad about the soft p problem that you mentioned. I guess that that proves that we all need to not rely on filters. I think they help a lot, but they are not a complete solution.

Now, here is a question: do you have the password? That was my problem: I installed something called the k9 filter, but I had the password. I kept getting weak and overriding it. Then, finally, I told my partner, who now has changed the password so that I can't look.

But, you also mention will power. I loved this: "Think about who I am and what this will make me." What an amazingly grown up way to think about it. Hmmm...well, I guess my other question is this: how are you doing? If you are feeling tempted, are you able to figure out other things to do? Go for a run, etc.

[Daniel]

My best plan to resist the urge is to "Think about who I am and what this will make me". Another great way to resist is to come regularly at this site. It really helps to read how others are combating this situation.

...The best strategy in this situation, I think, is to gather all your willpower and try one last effort to close whatever you are going to watch before you watch it. Then just think for a few seconds what are you about to do. Just let your mind clear off from all the rubbish. Forget that this happened.
Control the addiction, Don't let it control you!

Many6,

I would like to echo what Dave and Foolish have said regarding your 'waking up' to this problem before you went 20 years and found yourself under the heel of this addiction with far worse consequences than a guilty conscience.

We can add several things to your tool box for resisting a relapse when an urge to look comes up. But one good one to remember is to not allow yourself to set the environment up in the first place. Is there a particular time of day when you feel weak? Or is there a particular activity (usually in front of a PC with web browser open etc.) when you are especially vulnerable?

If you can easily point to the environment that sets you up to fail then you can fairly easily seek to avoid that environment.

The main point being it does take effort to avoid falling but the effort pays off big time.

Keep Up the Good Work!,

Daniel

[FoolishMind]

This whole thing started when i was 12 and a half year old. I guess I started MB first but then it started coming with P. This almost went for like two years now. So I have been exposed to it for 2 years.
Why I realised it was wrong? Mmmm....Too many answers for that one! I just d myself after doing it. I knew it wasn't natural and it was not accepted by my ure and religion. I just kinda made up my mind to stop doing it but it didn't prove that easy. That was where the struggle began.

I had made up many plans for staying away from P. The best plan was to make up my mind never to do it again. I even gradually went to installing parental-control software to force me not to look at it again. It worked pretty well, but then it didn't block out all the soft P and I couldn't sometimes keep away from the urge.

My best plan to resist the urge is to "Think about who I am and what this will make me". Another great way to resist is to come regularly at this site. It really helps to read how others are combating this situation.

"I mean, a LOT of guys stay away from p for a while, but, then when they get weak and look, they don't try to pick themselves up and get clean again, you know?" Believe me Dave, this has happened to many times. The best strategy in this situation, I think, is to gather all your willpower and try one last effort to close whatever you are going to watch before you watch it. Then just think for a few seconds what are you about to do. Just let your mind clear off from all the rubbish. Forget that this happened.
Control the addiction, Don't let it control you!

Hey Many6, You are clearly very mature for your age, and I could only dream that I had the same mental state of you when I was your age.

I think your on the right path, in terms of why you want to be free from P, and how you need to control it. Ultimatley you need to start with the tools to help you, and then you can depend on will power later, its sort of conditioning yourself before you let yourself free.

A lot of people dispute the fact that Filter software actually curbs your addiction, but The way I see it is a training resource.

The analogy I use to explain this is when your learning to ride a bike, you can use stabilsers to prevent your from falling. Once you have gained confidence your naturally become conditioned to maintaining balance on your own, you know if you sway to far one side, you will fall. So it is as simple as that I have been using filter software for over 2 years now, but for the last 6 months my computer at work is not protected, yet I havent felt the need, or even urge to look at anything, as I am so I know if I sway, I will fall.

Hope that makes sense, Make sure you start a journal, and stay focussed dude.

Wish you all the best on your journey.

FM

[Many6]

Thanks Dave42, Daniel and Foolishmind for your support. You have no idea how i feel right now.:D

Now, here is a question: do you have the password? That was my problem: I installed something called the k9 filter, but I had the password. I kept getting weak and overriding it. Then, finally, I told my partner, who now has changed the password so that I can't look.

I did the exact thing, Dave. I installed K9, entered a random password made sure I couldn't shut it off even if I wanted to.
This kinda extinguished P for some weeks and was dead helpful.
The only setback was that there were two other laptops at home and none of them had the filter on and the Soft p shit was still present. The computer on which i mostly used to P had the filter as it was in my room.
Nevertheless, such software is a definite yes if u really want to stop P.

As Foolishmind already said,
"A lot of people dispute the fact that Filter software actually curbs your addiction, but The way I see it is a training resource."

This is exactly what I meant to say. Nice bike-story example dude!!
Taking all your advice and suggestions in mind, I am trying my best to get rid of this evil. Looking at how much you people have helped me, I will try my best to be a regular contributor to this forum.
Once Again, Thanks.

[Many6]

One more thing guys....How to start a journal?
Thanks!