Hi...I'm an addict...

[baseballman33]

Hello all. My name is Jared. I am 21 years old and from Indiana. I am a college student at a tiny little school in southern Indiana that is awesome. I have a beautiful and caring girlfriend of 6 1/2 years that I love with all of my heart.
I was first exposed to P at age 10 when I saw a magazine of my brothers. I can still clearly see the pictures from this magazine that have haunted me ever since. I have tried over and over and over again to break the addiction. Sometimes I just feel like giving up altogether with this struggle. I have not viewed P online now for the past two days now which is good for me; embarassing! I think I have found the two things that work for me finally after 11 years of struggles: God and writing. I know it's early and only 2 days but something just feels different this time. I get closer and closer to God everyday and am beginning to have more and more faith in him daily. I just want everyone to know that I will make sure and pray for the members of this site because quite frankly, this addiction sucks. Thank you for reading my first entry. :)

Jared

[Daniel]

Jared,

Welcome to TTF.

Be encouraged that there exists a community of folks united in their determination to get P out of their lives forever!

Two days is a great start, keep up the good work.

Of course when you cut sin out of your life, particularly one that can overwhelm, like P, you will grow closer to the living LORD of the universe.

I too happen to be a Christian who loves God with all my heart. And I was shackled to P near all of my adult life. But He has enabled me to be free using many different tools, and one of the best ones is and was TTF. Not everyone here believes in the same way or even believes at all, but the diversity of persepectives I find enriching. I hope you do too.

The early stage is often the hardest. Hold on with everything you've got. Get your head clear from the P-induced fog and you will begin to see life anew, which will strengthen your resolve.

Here are a few things that will help you get started:

• Develop your own battle plan: Mission Planner
• Take a look at stages of recovery: Stages
• See the Journals (Farmer; Foolishmind, Vorlan, TryingToChange, Campy) [note that there are journals from nearly all walks, mid-teens, twenty- and thirty-somethings, clear to Walkman (79?) and everything in between]

You will experience, possibly, incredible pressure to give in and go back. Don't do it. I found in times past when I resolved "NEVER AGAIN" I may have a short reprieve but then had overwhelming urges. Expect them and prepare for them and you will conquer.

Daniel

[Newman]

Jared,

Welcome. Here are my suggestions:
1. If you have a "stash" of porn somewhere, get rid of it, all of it. Completely.
2. Create barriers to your access to porn to make access as difficult as possible. Ideally, porn should be impossible to access. For example, consider using computer filters, blocks or accountability programs. If your regular path to work takes you by an arcade, use another route.
3. Identify those circumstances/situations that trigger the urge to use porn and avoid them.
4. Make a list of what you are going to do to re-direct your attention when the urge to view porn hits. (Call a friend, go for a walk or a drive, visit with a co-worker) My experience has been that if I can re-direct my attention for 10 minutes or so, the urge will pass.
5. Read up on this problem using this site and others like it as well as the books that have been written by people such as Dr. Patrick Carnes.
6. Read posts by men who have lost their wives, children, girlfriends and/or jobs because of porn. Also read the posts by the SOs who have been affected by porn addiction.
7. If you have a friend/mentor/counselor/priest/pastor etc. that you can trust with this information, tell them about your problem. This seems to take much of the strength from the urge to continue using porn.
8. Depending on how much success you have otherwise, consider seeking outside professional help. I resisted this for a long time but wasn't having much success until I did.
9. Commit to getting control of this problem every day.
10. If you mess up, analyze what went wrong, decide how to avoid the problem in the future, modify your plan and get back to work.
Good luck

[GuitarMan]

Whatsup Jared,

I am 23 and in a similar situation. It can be comforting to know that there are others in your situation. As shitty as things may seems just remember that you are never alone. We are young, strong, and with a lot of focus and hard work we can beat this.

I'm glad you are here.

[pornhater]

baseballman33:

I can totally sympathise with your case. I am 20 and addicted my pre-teens also. I guess that is the way with most addicts in their 20s, started in pre-teen.

All I can say is hope for the best though I've never been able to kick it. Beginning to think I'll be a slave to the porn industry for life! Not gonna get away that easy.

Jeez what an addiction it's frigging incredible. It's like a clasp around your ankle or something that's attached by suction to your body. You just can't get rid of it.

There's so much to be said for banning porn altogether.

That's for another topic though. I can say that any brief lapses in porn use have tended to occur with increased relationship with God. I think it might just be possible to kick it if one developed a strong enough devotion to God.

Thing is when I start getting heavier into porn I fall back dramatically in my religion. Fall back to no effort made whatsoever. It just has that effect for some reason.

I think your advice is very good newman.