Im starting to realize I have a problem

[WhyMe]

Im finally going to admit it, for the first time. I have an addiction to porn.

I need help.

It is ruining my life and keeping me from family and friends. It destroyed my marriage. Id rather watch it then be with my wife. We are no longer together, she never knew and still does not know now.

Whenever i do watch it, I feel guilty afterwards. I feel like i have a hangover. I do not want to do anything or go anywhere. Im ashamed of myself.

It is one hurdle in life that i can not overcome in life.

Please tell me there is hope. A way to control it or break this cycle.

I need help.

Thanks

[Vorlan]

Hey WhyMe,

Welcome to the site. In answer to your question, yes there is hope and yes you can recover. It won't be easy and it will take time and dedication to get this out of your life but you can do it.

I would encourage you to start a journal where you can tell us a little bit more about yourself and get some personal support and advice.

I'd recomend you read around the site as much as you can; there are so many useful threads and inspirational posts.

Below are a few threads I would recommed particularlly:

FM's recovery journal: The truth is painful - but required

Farmer's Recovery Journal:
Farmer's Journal

Daniel's Recovery Journal:
Onward: Daniel's Journal

Things to do to avoid looking at P (porn) (Alternatives for winding down): Alternatives for winding down

Best of TTF: Best of TTF - add to it!

The key to beating P (porn) is to plan ahead and to keep positive and motivated. I find that it helps to write out a list of what triggers you to look at P and then to work out ways of avoiding those triggers. For example if boredom is a key trigger then make sure you always have plenty to do, start some new hobbys etc. If you anticipate and plan for temptations and urges then you can more easily take decisive action to beat them. Take it one day at a time and remember that you have the power to beat this.

I hope you find this site as useful and uplifting as I did.

Best of luck,

Ben

[brokensoul]

read and learn about this addiction
do post
others here will help
it's not an easy fix
stay strong

[Newman]

Yes, there is hope and the addiction can be overcome, but it takes more than just wanting to stop. You'll need to read up on this and get a recovery plan in place. You may need professional help. But, whatever it takes will be worth it. The sooner you get started the better off you'll be. It will take time, but you didn't get where you are overnight. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

[WhyMe]

Thank you all for your help. Just hearing you say there is a way to stop and that there is hope is great to hear. I will read up and study.

Thanks so much

[Newman]

So, where are you now?

[WhyMe]

Im doing better. Im not staying up all night and calling into work the next day. Only once a week now, and the next day is always rough. I just cant break that cycle, but Im trying. I have really good days where I think im good but at the end of the week its the same thing it just sneaks up on me.

Im starting to hate it and the after affects more than urge.

Thanks for asking.

[Rowlf]

Hey WhyMe,

I remember that cycle well! I used to be really good at burying all the trials and tribulations of each day. The only problem is they were just buried, not removed. So by the end of the week the internal pressure was just too much and I had to numb out with my drug of choice.

I'd suggest sitting down each day and looking at factors that are causing you stress and you're not dealing with immediately. The planner may be helpful. It sounds like the triggers are building up unnoticed until your willpower is just swept away.

Don't let it build up too much. As find some other ways of creatively releasing it. Exercise is one of the best. Being with other people or even doing things for other people is great.

Take each day as it comes and don't build up a deficit of good energy!

[Newman]

it just sneaks up on me.

I'm glad you are better. But let me take issue (a little bit) with your statement above with the understanding that I am as guilty of this as everyone else.

It isn't really sneaking up on you. Its the weekend. You know its coming. My problem is Mondays. I know its coming. The question is what are our plans for dealing with this urge that we know is coming at a pretty specific time (and place, probably)? Decide while things are good during the week what you are going to do on the weekend when the urge hits. A recent article in Time magazine about addictions indicates that most of us addicts convince ourselves that the urge will never go away and that we are therefore destined to suffer until we finally give in. That, the experts say, isn't true. Usually, the urge will pass in a very short time. I encourage you to make a plan to deal with this aspect of your problem. I'm glad you are still fighting.