Hi, I'm new here

[tjk2008]

Hello all,

I'm a new person here. A bit about myself: I am a single male, 19 and at university studying maths. I also think U2 are awesome :) I am a Christian too, so my faith is a real factor behind being on this site.

Well, firstly, I don't really know if I am a PA. It is very difficult to put my finger on where I began to have a problem with pretty soft stuff about 4 years ago. At my worst (during school / uni holidays) I have got to using it about 3 times a week, but it varies drastically from that. For example, when I was at uni in my first year and was forced to use the university's internet connection, there was not much of a problem for 10 weeks. But when I got home, the temptation was there and I was stuck again. The explicitness of the P varies too. I realise that what I have described may be seen by some as 'not much of a problem at all'. But it is still a habit that has not shifted, though I have tried to give up. I suppose whether or not I can be classed as a PA is not really the point.

Where am I at the moment? I have used P twice in the last two weeks. In some ways I think my mind is tired with the 'same old fight', and there is a real danger I could think that 'I don't have a problem' or that 'I can handle it'. It is tiring to think about beginning the struggle again. But I suppose I have to keep trying, and praying.

Well, thanks for reading, and this is a great website for those needing support.

[jerseygirl]

tjk2008 ...

Welcome to TTF! No one can really define what a porn problem is, but I think the fact that you were looking for and found a forum such as this one may be your answer. If it's something that you're concerned about ... researching it and learning about it is a step in the right direction.

Maybe starting a journal and reading over some other journals can help you in your process.

Best of luck to you!

~jerseygirl~

[Dosta_je]

Hi, TJK! Welcome to TTF! :)

Jerseygirl's right, it's hard to pinpoint what addiction really is. Still, as far as I could see, for most people (myself included) it started by occasional watching and then progressed to being a strong addiction with big influence on life. You already mentioned that it's become a habit. I think it's better to treat it with due seriousness from the start - that way you could minimise the impact it might have on your future life. And this place really is a gold mine when it comes to useful things about fighting PA.

All the best!
Vladimir

[futurehope]

From my experience, about 3x per week would have a significant effect on me, and would stop me from really appreciating my life, feeling settled and free from anxiety, being able to concentrate on my work, and so on. I think it would also warp my view of women and sex in a way I wouldn't be fully aware of until I cut down a bit...

It is up to you to decide whether you have a problem. I see it as something which doesn't have a positive effect on my mind, and my relationships with others... but how much is too much? For me, if it was an occasional activity, I wouldn't be too worried, but I try to stay away from it as much as possible.

[tjk2008]

Yeah, 3x a week was not good. It started to have an impact on my work commitments and my view of women I saw on a day to day basis got warped. In the past I have come down quite hard on myself, which has gone some way to stop me from getting in too deep. The standard I would like to reach is no P whatsoever. Thanks guys for reading and welcoming me!

Tom

[Vorlan]

Hey Tjk2008,

Welcome to the site!

It's great that you've found the site. I totally agree with the advice given by other members so far.

Starting a recovery journal is a great plan. If you're not sure whether you are addicted ask yourself whether you have ever tried to give up P but have failed. If you have ever looked at P and hated yourself for it throughout the session. Ask yourself whether you get irritable and crave P when you miss your regular session. Finally ask yourself whether the P you look at now would have shocked you at the start of your usage, has the P that used to satisfy become too tame and are you forced to search for ever more extreme forms of P. If none of these are true then I don't think you are addicted. If all are then by my defination you are addicted. In the end you know in your gut whether or not you are addicted.

It's quite interesting you're into U2, this site was named after a U2 song! Here's a thread on it: What's in a name?

I hope you have every success in beating this whether it is an addiction to you or not,

Best of luck,

Ben

[Charly22]

You are very wise to be taking a look at this situation at this point in your life. You know how people talk about smoking....it's better to never start at all, then to try to have to kick it afterwards. I feel like that's where you are. I feel like you are tinkering on the edge of the deep dark hole that porn is. It is empty. It will consume you. It will make you seek more and more, and seek a satisfaction that will NEVER EVER come. Please don't fill your mind with these false ideas and images, and make the women in your life feel like they can never live up to those expectations. Please nip this in the bud now, while you have a chance to walk away without all the suffering that alot of folks on this site are experiencing. This is your chance....Thank God for it!