I'm the new girl.

[Amanda788]

Well said fairyG. Okay, Pongostick, before you go saying that Chey shouldn't listen to me because I'm "bitter" maybe you should take a step back and see where I'm coming from. I dated my boyfriend for 2 and half years only to find out he was having cyber sex with multiple girls on an online game, and looking at pron after I repeatedly asked him not to and he promised me he would not. Of course I would be upset, and bitter. And it's cheating. I don't care what you say. But I'm on here looking for support, and to give it. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this. My boyfriend and I are working things out slowly.

And where do you come off as saying looking at porn isn't cheating? It's cheating the relationship. And if it's something that Chey's husband was hiding don't you think he knows it's wrong.

Your comments are so insensative. If you don't have anything supportive or positive to say here than I suggest you don't post.
The women on these board are hurting and trying their best to get through their problems and for you do come out and say that they are over reacting or blowing things out of proportion is just mean. Like FairyG said, these boards are for support. We're not on here pouring our hearts out to be mocked. You can have opinions, but if they're hurtful and insensative, this is not the place for them.

You do not know enough about Chey's relationship with her husband to tell her that she is just looking for a reason to leave him. Did you just come on here to pick on people that are hurting? Because that is just twisted.

I suggest you leave people here alone unless you have kind and supporting things to say.

[Broken Rick]

I agree with Amanda, and the rest of the girls here. We are not the ones to judge people and claim their feelings are not 'real' or 'trivial'. Would you like it if people thought YOUR feelings were stupid? No. Of course not. I am a recovering porn addict and cybersex addict. And what i have done to my girlfriend is beyond imagine. The pain I have caused here will take a very long time to heal.

I cheated on her. I was not with a real life woman, but I cheated on her virtually. There is no excuses to that. I failed. And even now im trying desperatley to fix myself and the relationship i started with her 2 and a half years ago. People come here to heal and find comfort in each other. Chey is going through something that god willing you never have to go through. I can not imagine the pain she feels, and to that im am truly sorry for.

So please, Pongostick, remember to be a bit more senstive and caring. For Karma has a way of coming back and kicking your in the arse. 10 fold.

[Chey143]

Thanks everyone for the defense of my feelings. Perhaps Pongo had a bad day, but it's obvious he has a lot to learn.

Amanda, I think you're very lucky that your boyfriend is supporting you so openly. I would be really easy for him to refuse but the fact that he is here and being honest is really great.

FG, think I sent you a thanks earlier, but you always know the right way to say things and I'm always so...angry.

Hope everyone had a happy new years day.

[Amanda788]

Hey Chey,
How are thing going with your husband? Any postive changes?
Rick is being supportive. I really appreciate him being on here and being open with what's happened. I know it's got to be embarassing to talk about what's happened, but the support the PA's offer each other is really great.

[Chey143]

Not all days are good. But the really awful ones come less often now.

My worst fears are still there and I have these nagging thoughts that despite everything I've read and heard and been told that the real dirty truth of it is there was something missing or wrong with me. Or he is bored with me. I provide security and support but his desire lies elsewhere. Just that no one wants to say it or admit it. Sometimes I want to believe that I'm desirable so badly that I actually do for a while. Is that really believing or not. I don't know. I'm still working it out in my head.

I still get angry and sad more easily. It's like being a little out of control all the time. The smallest thing will piss me off or send me into tears. I'm just not like that generally. I keep telling myself that this is all part of getting better and not to fight it.

[Charly22]

Let me ask you this...when you see your favorite actor, or musician on tv, and think how handsome he is...does that mean there is something wrong with your husband that made you think that?

[Chey143]

Nope, but if I found myself in a room imaging myself having sex with him while jacking off, I might have to consider it.

[Charly22]

And that my friend is the pain in all of this. And what that means is....HE is the one who is lacking something(if thats what you found him doing), not YOU.

[Amanda788]

Hey Chey,
I'm sorry to hear about your bad days and doubts. I know exactly how you feel. I think the only cure is time. And for your husabnd to try to reassure you that you are beautiful and he does desire you. You're still in my prayers!

Amanda

[Chey143]

Thanks Amanda. I could use all the good thoughts you can spare. Keep most of them for yourself though. It's hard for both of us.