dioofthesky

[dioofthesky]

I am successful, hard-working, and have a lot of good things going for me, have a college degree don't abuse drugs, rarely drink, have a job, keep physically fit, yet this P stuff is driving me crazy and is probably going to ruin my life.

So, I have few friends (if any really?) and unfortunately that is in consequence of the choices I make in life. When I have relationships, I push physical love too quickly (when I know I shouldn't) and after I am done fooling around with them I can't find any interest in being with that person (even though I should). P (and this is funny to me) seems to be my only friend, so I am kinda conflicted at even coming on here.....but after realizing all the money I'm wasting and time, I know I have to do this. Like I know this addiction will kill me and ruin my life.

I have always had P since I was old enough to MB....even when it wasn't allowed in my household I would draw pictures, or borrow my friends or just put pictures in my head. I have always had a high sex-drive and I can only go a few days without either P or sex it seems. I tried to be very religious for a several month period of time, but quit going to church because I told myself I could never quit MB. I at one point kept myself really busy and was able to curb it but it was still there in full force when I had nothing to do.


So, here it goes. My move to a better life.

[Daniel]

dioofthesky,

Welcome to TTF. I have found a huge help here in staying P-free, through this site its awesome participants.

Whether you know it or not, feel like or not, like it or not: know this (from my own experience):

Porn is a destroyer.

Destroys your peace, destroys your joy, destroys your self-esteem, destroys your conscience. Of course I can substitute "your" for "my". Because that's what it did to me. Add my Christianity and you have a perfect storm for guilt and intense shame.

You have found the right place if you're serious about getting rid of the P addiction.

Check out the many excellent journals and read throught the posts. The general theme throughout is a journey from pain & heartache to joy & freedom.

There are many posts dealing with tips & tricks to use to steer clear of P. The incredible damage it does to you and those you love the most. How to avoid the triggers that make you think of it. And the oblivion of being free.

Join us in the fight. You've taken the first real step to un-learning what you (and I) learned to do since adolescence.

You have a hunch this P thing is not the best friend you thought it was. It might have hijacked the real you.

Welcome to TTF again,

Daniel

[dave42]

Wow! You have an incredible way of stating it: "P (and this is funny to me) seems to be my only friend, so I am kinda conflicted at even coming on here." Yes, I think I feel the same way: p was my only friend, too, except for maybe a couple of folks who aren't really close friends. I'm still not very good about reaching out to make or keep friends.

I really love your honesty: I think for a lot of us (or at least me!) p has been the closest friend I've had for a long time. It's pretty sad, huh? Sigh...Well, I am the same as you: spent thousands of dollars on this friend. Not much of a friend, huh? Hang in there. Thanks for stating it so clearly. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing, okay? All the best, Dave

[brulant]

Originally Posted by dave42

I really love your honesty: I think for a lot of us (or at least me!) p has been the closest friend I've had for a long time. It's pretty sad, huh? Sigh...Well, I am the same as you: spent thousands of dollars on this friend. Not much of a friend, huh? Hang in there. Thanks for stating it so clearly. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing, okay? All the best, Dave

hmmmmmm..... sounds like my love/hate relationship with cigarettes, too. that's depressing.... in its honesty.

Ironically I was able to get out of a bad relationship, away legally,physically, emotionally and psychologically from a bad family but my one friend through thick and thin has been cigarettes... unlike those other unhealthy (to me) things smoking has not only been my best friend, but a means to stuff emotions, curb anxiety, allowing me something to do with my hands....

heh heh I'm still chipping away and am *far* closer to quitting them than ever before and I'm still working on it.... *BEFORE* it kills me first.

(**disclaimer** I'm not a PA, but I can empathize on *some* level)
lol

I wish ya' all the best!