Lonely and shaking

[Jacinda24]

I've tried to show him the site, but he doesn't want to look at it. He denies he has a problem. I believe first HE needs to admit HE has an addiction. I can say whatever I want, but me telling him he has a problem is like talking to a wall. He listens to everything I say when I try to explain how much pain i feel, I did email him the other day about the warning signs of porn addiction that pertain to our relationship minus the computer filters:
Warning signs that your partner is addicted to porn:

1. You are always the one to initiate sex. Pornography distorts a man's sex drive, often leading him away from normal sex. Use your intuition. If something seems abnormal or different about your partner's sexual performance, then it is reasonable to be suspicious. In my experience, I noticed, at times, an enormous gap in our sex life, where it seemed that I was always the initiator, and sex was much less frequent than usual. However, sex drive is frustratingly variable for everyone, so again, use your intuition.

2. Erectile dysfunction is not uncommon among pornography addicts. Even pornography addicts that are relatively young may experience these difficulties. Pornography trains men to reach sexual climax differently than normal sex, and after a while, they become desensitized to normal stimulation.

3. Frequently deleted browsing or internet history. There is being safe with sensitive information... and then there is being addicted to pornography. If, every so often, you notice he has cleared his history, ask yourself why. Many people clear their private data to protect sensitive information, but only so often. Frequent cleared history, or software that clears data, is a major red flag.
He has not responded to my email (actually he's never responded to my emails ,I've sent him 3) And he simply just doesnt want to talk about it. I talk about it to him, he just listens and at the end always always says"I don't know" (Meaning I don't know what you want me to do to help you? ) I guess that's what it means, I've never got anything else out of him.
Also I can't figure out how to make a journal on this website?

[Abbie]

My husband was exactly the same, in denial about his addiction. It was only when he read through the posts and journals on here that he identified with the users and the problem itself.

However, he had to be nudged into coming on here. I think that the worst pain fora PA in denial is having to admit they have the addiction, then that means they will have to address it, and more importantly stop it. And they don't want to stop.

I took desperate measure to get my husband on here (basically I blocked all websites apart from this one and his bank accounts etc, then set this as his home page). I'm certainly not suggesting you take such measures, perhaps you could email him the link? (try once a week) Then he can read at his leisure without admitting to you that he has been on, therefore addressing the addiction in his own time?

Once he reads the posts without being forced to, he should take it in better.

How are you?

[Searching4peace]

Originally Posted by Jacinda24

Also I can't figure out how to make a journal on this website?

Jacinda,

From the top tab, click Forums, scroll down to the Partners Forum area and click the sub forums link under the main title for partners forum Journals of So's...start a new thread and title it something with your screen name or what ever really suits you.

or for a quick find click this link

Journals for SO's - TTF community forums

Welcome to the group, and if you'd like you can have admin move this thread into your journal so that you can just continue what you've already worked on.

Just send admin a private message, located at the top right of the main page beside your icon.

Peace and love
Crys

[EmergingAngel]

Jacinda -

THANK YOU SO MUCH for writing what you did about your situation. You replied on my first journal entry and mentioned that a few of my problems mentioned were problems that you believed were similar to your BF's. After reading your post here, I can really see things from a different angle, and I'm extremely grateful for it. I see a lot of these signs in my own life, and it is a very insightful preview on where my problem would take me.

I really feel for you, and by reading your post, I feel a little ashamed because I suppose vicariously I am experiencing what would be happening if I had someone suffering through my problem with me. Reading the posts of SO's and how this problem affects them is really a good thing for me. One of the things I think we've all had to, or are coming to grips with, is that our actions DO directly impact others. I'm sure you're quite the attractive woman that you mentioned, and I'm sure you're great. Te fact that you're trying to help him with the problem instead of running off is admirable. - chin up Jacinda... I'll hope and pray that he comes around as well. Again - thank you so much for sharing your feelings and experience, it affirms so deeply that what I'm doing here is going to lead me down a happier and more fulfilling life for myself and my current/future partner in life. - J

[Jacinda24]

EmergingAngel, I'm glad that you read my first thread-and I think it's great to look at things from our prospective as well. I only wish my boyfriend would read this too. I know he won't though and I've tried. Maybe I'll email him some more.
I do think that this site is wonderful though. I've learned so many things about P-it's been an eye opener. And I love the responses from people, they sometimes give me new ideas and they also help me see things in a different light. It's truly enlightening

[Abbie]

How are things Jacinda?