my journal

[hurtwife]

so sick of the lies...why can't he juigst see what it has done to our lives...i threw him out in march he begged and pleaded he would change that day...even cried...what a fool...21 years of this crap...of feeling like i wasn't enough of a woman...of his lies saying he doesn't have a certain type of woman...well that because everyone and eveytemhing is his type..never compliments never hugs never tell me he loves me...not that would mean anything...if any of you are new to this LEAVE there is no help for MOST men...it take a extrordiary man to put his spouses tears and FIX them...i heard the promises i will go to therapy, i will talk to you, i will put my family first...yeah that lasted 1 month...1 therapy session...of hearing how he didnt click with his therapist...that the therapist thought he was not addicted to porn...that he was only selfish...DUH that is a PA...selfish...only about him only about what satisfies himself sexually who cares what his partner wants or needs...so when i told asked to find another...it never happened...never will...its pointless...he has never searched out any help...i dont care about his pride...i care about the next 50 years of my life..he obviously does not want to be part of mine...i cant live like this for another 21 years...
see i found him looking at lingerie but oh that was for me or so he tells me...uh i have not gotten anything in the mail...oh and now how to make pigtails but mind you they were on half naked plastic models...i know so hard to figure out how to make them...such a liar...oh lets not even discuss the movie piranha 3d...that was ok for you to watch...then to tell me your such a piece of sh!t...yeah YOU ARE ...(is is the only the past 6 months...the other 20 years and 6 months are only too hurtful to type)
im so tired of Porn...
remember the first time wont be your last time...unless he really is honest and get honest help...because words are words...but actions are actual attempts...i would have more respect for that then the LIES...

[dawn1952]

hurtwife, I can feel your pain through your words and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Venting here has helped me incredibly. Sometimes it's the best thing we can do while our psyches sort things out. Take good care of yourself... dawn