Back on TTF...Trying to be Brave.

[chasman62]

Comewhatmay:

As a recovering PA I am nervous about posting on an 'SO' part of the website, but I read your entire thread and I cant help but say that, like so much on this website, it has moved me to tears. I feel it is incumbent on all of the PAs who are committed to recovery and to rebuilding their marriages, relationships etc to read these threads and to try to gain some understanding of the extent of pain and suffering that they have caused.

I am not going to even pretend to be able to give you advice on your situation, that would be patently ridiculous, and there are many wise and caring SOs on TTF who will be there for you as long as you seek them out.

All I can say is that it seems to me that your husband is essentially going through the motions of recovery. He has, it seems, given up looking at p, he has gone to therapy etc etc but he still hasn't really faced up to what he is and what he has done. He has no right to tell you to 'get over it'. I cant imagine saying that to my wife. I was a liar and a cheat and a despoiler of something precious and beautiful and I consider myself the luckiest man alive that she didnt smash the computer over my head and kick me out of the house when she found out the extent of my infidelity (and make no mistake that is what it is). Your recovery is on your timeline.

I wish you and your husband all the best. I sincerely believe it would make the world of difference if he were to commit to joining this forum and I encourage you to keep trying to get him to do so.