Life-lies-trust-SO

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

LLT-

Its your journal... express away. :) I only wanted to tell you good things about yourself because I know it was helpful to me when I was depressed. Sometimes I forgot there were good things about me because the man who said he loved with me acted so badly.

I hope your days get better.

[Life-lies-trust]

Well he is going to a SAA meeting and wants to join the Wednesday noon time group. My only problem is that I will have no way of knowing if he is going or not. Tomorrow is his next counseling meeting and also to have one on Wednesday but that conflicts with the SAA meeting.

Thank you WNLM

[Life-lies-trust]

Well the counselor has told him to go to meeting that uses the 12 step program. I am afraid the program will have DG stop open communication with me. I will not continue for this because it is going backwards from where we have been working towards. I feel that this may be HIS addiction but I have some say in this marriage and if he continue with the secret world then I'm done.

[Life-lies-trust]

Well he made it home and this group does not approve of silence with anyone. Thank GOD that they believe in support rather than isolation. So I worked myself up for nothing at this point. Breath, Breath, must remember to breath and not start an asthma attack.

Here is the next shocker, DG came into the house with 12 red roses. He said "Thank you for your support" when he gave them to me. I'm in shock he does not do things like this but it is nice.

[Life-lies-trust]

Well I'm getting the silent treatment from him since he came out of the counselor's office. Not talking and he was to talk about she wants him to abstain from and s3x for unstated length of time. GRRRRRR.

[Life-lies-trust]

Well he FORGOT to ask about the time frame for celibacy. Yea RIGHT he did not want to approach the conflict. "I don't know why I did not ask about it." GRRRRRRR again!!!!!!!

Today is my session. I have several questions for information that I want to know. Then I have several issues on feeling that I will discuss. While I'm with the counselor he is to be at an SAA meeting. We will see how this goes.

[little_wife]

Hugs to you LLT....Good luck, I hope all goes well at the counselors today.

[Life-lies-trust]

I really like the counselor she is very supportive of me and because of the nature of the extreme secrecy to his addiction he never went to someone outside of the marriage except in pictures and fantisy. She is helping me work on what is appropriate communication with him and how to work through this. Today I was not on the extreme emotional trip but had reevaluated what had set me off. I explained to her where I was coming from and how my though process had started to loop into a negative circle. She says that this is normal and that with my help DG is much further ahead in facing this addiction that she ever expected. I just keep showing him where his feelings got trapped and what they really are about.

[Life-lies-trust]

Almost finished reading the book on addictive mind and it really help on some of the WHY's. This is a short 120 page book so not too trying to read. The information is set for easy to understand with examples of what they are talking about.

Today has been fairly quiet with problems except my procrastination on writing my lesson plans out for the department head.

[Life-lies-trust]

I have times that I wish I could open his brain. 1. Wash it our with a harsh acid. 2. Rewire it to come clean. 3. Open the denial ports. 4. Have him become a real caring person that he once was (or I thought was there).

The addict has 1. Pushed everyone away. 2. Blamed everyone else for why he needs the addiction. 3. It's the parents fault. (yes they are both addicts but you are an adult). 4. Lieing is good to keep out the real world. 5. Say anything to shut up the SO. 6. Use physical and mental torment to keep their addiction. 7. Try to hurt others because they are objects and only the addiction is reality. 8. "Anything to shut up her up and avoid any discussion that results in the real world connection."

I really would like a magic pill that just makes all the SH&& go away.