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    Thread: Strategies for avoiding past mistakes

    1. #1
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      Default Strategies for avoiding past mistakes

      I would like this thread to be a place where we can all list our strategies for not falling back into old habits.

      How can avoid the same mistakes we have made in the past?
      “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

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      I guess I will be first to reply :)

      For me, I had to get rid of all of the things that triggered this behavior in the first place. That meant getting rid of a lot of things I liked and thought I really needed, but in retrospect, don't miss all that much. My life is simpler and less complicated.

      -Movies, DVD's that contain any sexual material that might be a trigger.
      -Music that was provocative or put me in a certain thought pattern
      -Magazines, etc. - it's amazing how many magazines are "soft porn" these days, like Maxim, etc. Get rid of them!
      -Friends - stop hanging around friends that encourage this behavior. You don't have to cut them out entirely, but slowly start spending less time with them.
      -Only go on the internet if I have a reason to do so, and monitor my time on the internet.

      This is just getting started. I will keep working on the list as time permits.
      “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

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      for me the trigger is quite simply boredem. I make sure I always have something to do at work, if i do feel boredem kick in, i dont just sit infront of my screen and surf, I get, have some fresh air, talk to a colleague , play Solitaire!

      Mind of over matter, walking into shops with magazines and stuff, i know where they are, i know what shelves there on, i simply turn my head, no need to look.

      Im still in the early days, so I will share more of anything that I do, that keeps me focussed on getting my life back on track.
      __________________________________________________ ___
      Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King Jr

      My Journal: The Truth is Painful, But Required
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      Being an online Market analyst I need to spend quite a few hours at the computer staying online. I can't say that I wouldn't do that because I would wander into one of those forbidden sites. This has been my problem but off late what I have done is that I have placed my computer in a place that is not very secluded and within the range of cc camera and that has helped.
      I also make sure that I don't stay unoccupied .. i would play a bit of game, do research and read articles/speak to people at throughtheflame.org that how it has been.

      Peace

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      For me its training my mind, up until I joined this site although i wanted to quit iwas mentally indulgent, if I was in a fuel station or a newsagents I would sometimes look at the top shelf magazine covers whilst I waited, or if I was watching tv I would continue to watch if something provocative came on. worst though was that I would allow my mind to wander to explicit thoughts and then it was downhill all the way. however now I refuse to allow myself to look, I turn the channel over imediately, and I do not permit the thoughts to stay in my head. I feel its working for me up till now as there isnt much for the addiction to feed on.
      Another thing that as helped is a little harder to explain, but I have tried to rethink my view of women, rather than just regarding beauty and physical form as a virtue, I try to see good in all - beautiful or old or plain, and it helps me see them as wonderful people rather than just as sexy or not.
      'By Endurance We Conquer' - Ernest Shackleton

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      Default Stress Stress Stress.....

      A huge trigger for me is stress, so I have to make sure that I use healthy methods of stress relief instead of porn (taking a walk, talking with a friend, watchig a movie, reading a book, spending time with my wife, etc.)

      Another huge issue for me is time, over time as I try to tell myself that I am "cured" my defenses start to weaked and "BAM" something starts the cycle. I need to realize that this may take months or years and I need to keep the defenses intact

      Lastly, and most important to me, is that I stay in the Bible. I am a Christian and have found that the more I stay connected to God, the easier it is for me to battle porn. But at times when I am busy, tired, or whatever else excuse I give to not spend time in the Bible or Praying then it gets harder to battle porn.

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      Every day I write down what I need to accomplish which acts as a replacement for the time I use to indulge myself in P. I minimize my time at the computer and always have someone around when I need to use the computer. Put the computer where it can be seen by anyone when they first enter the room. The door to the office is always open and we made that a rule. No computer surfing after nine for every member of the household with no exception. Read more books that are not sexual content and read scriptures and religious books. Those are but a few modifications in my life to help me change my way of thinking and change my person. Good night and I'm headed for bed. My wife's tired of waiting up. Good night!
      Sick of It likes this.

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      Bird-boy (04-16-2011)

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      Default Good Read

      I certainly am not at one with Christianity or any other religion, but I did find a book that regardless of some bible references - it is bang on giving a daily dose of advice on morality, porn, and excessive MB. Every man's battle or better yet Every Day for Every Man - check it out - just a 1 minute read each morning.... helps to put the day into perspective. I highly recommend them.

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      I guess its so obvious that no-one thought to mention it on this thread but this site I think is probably the most powerful tool at our disposal to help fight PA. The site gives us a place to vent our feelings, to get support and advice, to give advice and support to others and simply to read other people's inspirational success stories. I find that just browsing the site every day and keeping up to date with my journal helps me get stronger and more commited every day as opposed to weaker and less committed as I used to feel before I found it. There is no better feeling than knowing the whole community is behind you and no better way of making P accountable than to share your experiences with everyone here. Knowing that I'd have to admit relapsing here has been the rock that's helped me many times now to avoid temptation and to keep strong.

      Best wishes to everyone, this site is what we make it and we've made it amazing together,

      Ben
      Last edited by Vorlan; 05-12-2008 at 01:39 PM.
      kanzi and Sick of It like this.
      The world is in a constant conspiracy against the brave. It's the age-old struggle: the roar of the crowd on the one side, and the voice of your conscience on the other. - Douglas MacArthur

      "'Thou mayest rule over sin,' Lee. That's it. I do not believe all men are destroyed. I can name you a dozen who were not, and they are the ones the world lives by. It is true of battles - only the winners are remembered. Surely most men are destroyed, but there are others who like pillars of fire guide frightened men through the darkness. 'Thou mayest!' What glory! It is true that we are weak and sick and quarrelsome, but if that is all we ever were we would, millenniums ago, have disappeared from the face of the earth. A few remnants of fossilised jawbone, some broken teeth in a strata of limestone, would be the only mark man would have left of his existance in the world. But the choice, Lee, the choice of winning!" - East of Eden by John Steinbeck

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    16. #10
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      Default avoiding past mistakes

      I think the best way to avoid past mistakes is try something new.I learned that if you don't change you'll produce the same results. Sitting down and carefully pondering and writting dow what led us to do it and keeping that in mind when next time we surf will help. Try ifferent methods because the same methods to avoid P and M for last two three months or years and did not help it won't help in the future as well.


     

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