Article on resolutions and willpower

[no_excuses]

A teacher of mine recently wrote an article for a newsletter about resolutions and willpower. I thought it had some insights that can help PAs be smart in handling addiction, so I've included some highlights below, condensed for relevancy.

Social scientists no longer view willpower as simply an idea, myth or metaphor. Willpower is now regarded as a real, measurable form of mental energy, powered by glucose in the bloodstream, which gets depleted as you exert self-control. The term “ego fatigue” was coined by Dr. Roy F. Baumeister of Florida State University to describe this form of mental fatigue. Apparently, the more choices you make throughout the day, the harder each one becomes until you become low on mental energy and less resistant to temptations. This is bad news for the dieter who starts the day armed with a full charge of willpower, resisting pastries and sugary cereals at breakfast and sodas and French fries at lunch, but as willpower weakens late in the day, they need to replenish it and for that they need glucose.

What’s a sincere resolutionist to do? A recent study at the University of Chicago concluded that people with the best self-control have learned to anticipate the limits of their willpower and have devised ways to use it less often. They have set up their lives to minimize temptations and to outsource as much self-control as they can. They attend classes and follow the advice of their instructors, personal trainers, nutritionists or anyone in any area of life who can help hold them to their commitments. These are some general guidelines that can help ensure success:

1. Be specific. Set a single clear goal. Instead of “lose weight” or “get in shape” or other ambiguous ambitions, be as detailed as possible in setting your goal, such as “lose 20 pounds in 12 weeks.” Limit yourself to one resolution at a time and don’t combine them.


2. Break it down. Break down the goal to a manageable size. This has enormous psychological as well as practical benefits. For example, losing 20 pounds in 12 weeks is 1.6 lbs a week or 3.7 ounces a day.

3. Pre-commit. This is also known as planning ahead. Plan or make meals in advance, schedule practices and workouts with friends, pay for two or even three months of classes instead of paying month to month. This saves time and minimizes decision fatigue.

4. Outsource. Outsource some of your self-control. Share your goals and progress with friends, in person or through any number of social media. Or just hire it out. There are online services where you can set your goal, set the penalty for not achieving it and have the option of naming a referee to enforce it. One such service, which analyzed 125,000 contracts over a three-year period, stated that the success rate for people who do not set a financial penalty or use a referee is only 29 percent. The success rate rises to 59 percent with a referee and to 71 percent when there’s a financial penalty. When the contract included both a referee and a financial penalty, the success rate jumped to 80 percent. At our Studio, those who consistently come to class achieve the highest rate of success in completing forms. Those who take privates (the equivalent of a coach or referee) in addition to regular classes succeed in completing forms, but with a greater degree of comprehension.

5. Keep track. Some form of self-monitoring is essential to increase your success rate in achieving goals. There are a variety of convenient and relatively inexpensive tools available online or as apps on a smart phone, or just simply record your progress in a notebook.

6. Be flexible. When obstacles arise or you have a lapse in willpower, be willing to change your direction to reach your goals, but not your decision to get there.

7. Visualize and reward. See yourself achieving your goals, and reward yourself in some way when you reach them. Getting that new sword as a reward is somehow more satisfying after learning the sword form than if you buy first and then learn.

The question remains that if a new year’s resolution is a form of mind-intent and that more than half the people who make them abandon them six months later, why bother making them at all? A 2002 study at the University of Scranton followed people for six months after the new year and reported that, by the end of January, 36 percent had abandoned their resolutions. In March, half were keeping their resolutions, but, by July, that number was down to 44 percent. This might seem unimpressive, but compared to the control group that had the same goals but didn’t make formal resolutions, only 4 percent still pursued their goals for the same period of time. According to psychologist Dr. John Norcross who conducted the study, “You are 10 times more likely to change by making a new year’s resolution compared to non-resolvers with the identical goals and motivation to change.”


To put this in terms used here on TTF, let me re-interpret those 7 guidelines.

1. Be specific in what you mean by quitting P. For instance, many of us have found it's not enough to simply stop looking at P; to truly recover and be the people we are meant to be, we have to watch our thoughts and eliminate any that include sexualization or fantasizing about people other than our SO. So my single clear goal is to not engage in any thought or action of a sexual nature except those between my wife and I.

2. Break it down into smaller goals. It's daunting to say "never again for the rest of my life." So I don't think in those terms, and in fact I don't even think "let's just worry about today." My concern is always the moment. In this moment only, is my head in the right place, is my mind clear? If that is done at every moment, that is all I ever have to consider. And really, it's pointless to worry about your state of mind in anything other than the present moment, because you will never exist in anything other than the present moment!

3. Pre-commit. ELIMINATE TRIGGERS!

4. Outsource. I'm outsourcing right now by being part of this forum. Anytime we share our challenge and find support, we're outsourcing.

5. Keep track. Start a journal in this forum, it's an awesome way to focus yourself every day or every few days, connect with others, and keep track of your insights.

6. Be flexible. What works in week 1 may not work in week 23. We have to always be thoughtful, insightful and adaptable to reassess where we are right now and what we need to reach the goal.

7. Visualize and reward. Visualize who you will be when you are P-free. What will life be like to be able to hold your head up high and not cringe inside when someone tells you you're a good person? What will it be like to work through the issues that slowly, quietly dragged you inside a dark hole and kept you there? What will your life be like to have a new openness and lightness with friends and loved ones?

Hope this helps someone!