the marriages that are best are ones that hit bottom, yet survive....

[Disillusioned]

This is from an on-line web site that my h has subscribed to on reconciling a marriage that is in trouble. I include it because Jenn and Mac, the Hopefuls, Hibiscus and many others here have found this to be true. I wanted others who feel it is all over to at least consider the fact that there may be a turnaround and a renewed commitment where both partners are invested in the health of their marriage. God bless all who struggle and are in pain.


Have you ever been to a winery?
Can you imagine what it would be like to be one
of those grapes? Really...play along with me here
for a moment.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be
plucked, pushed, crushed, pressed, skinned, and
fermented? OUCH! The pain! What's the point of it
all?
A lot of people feel that way about the pain they
experience in their marriage. "Why am I doing
this? Where is this relationship going?"
But just as a grape goes through a difficult
process before it becomes a fine wine, sometimes
our marriage has to go through a painful process
before it matures.
The people who have the best marriages are NOT
people who grew up well-adjusted, have healthy
adult lives, and normal parents. People like that
usually have OKAY marriages.
The BEST marriages are with couples who were
crushed, who went through a painful process, and
who built their relationship from the ruins of
broken hearts.
There's an ancient song by King David, "Those who
sow in tears will reap harvest in glad song."
And so it is that pain is often the preview to
pleasure. Any woman who has experienced child
birth can testify to this truth.

Very often the turning point in a marriage is
when a couple hits rock bottom. It's not until
they've been through the worst that things start
to get better.
But the turnaround in a marriage is NOT
automatic. Just because you hit bottom, does NOT
mean you'll bounce back. If you don't make it
happen, you'll just crash. In order to turn your
marriage around, you have to take RESPONSIBILITY.
What does it REALLY mean to be responsible? A
person who is responsible has the ABILITY to
RESPOND. In other words, if you take
response-ability for your marriage, then your
marriage is not determined solely by what
happens; it's also determined by how you RESPOND
to what happens.
A responsible person is not a victim to their
circumstances. They are the master of their fate.
How you respond to your marital circumstances
today WILL determine your marital circumstances
tomorrow. YOUR actions create your marriage. You
can turn sour grapes into a fine wine.
Making a relationship work is not mystical. Love
is NOT a mystery. You don't have to be "lucky in
love." You can "make love." You just have to know
the recipe.

[JenMac]

Love this D! Thank you for sharing!
I so believe this is true!
Jenn

[stillinlove]

Perfectly said. It took me a long time to learn to respond instead of react.
What a difference it makes in a relationship and in life in general.
No more mountains out of molehills!
Thank you!