Why I came to TTF

[IN NEED OF HELP]

A little over a year ago, I had a friend, a damn good friend if I can say so myself. He was always there for me, guiding my mind to different things. I loved what I was doing with my friend, it was our little secret, and no one would ever find out

But on Thanksgiving weekend in 2010, my secrets were found out, and at that very moment, my whole world come tumbling down on me. When my SO found out what I was doing, it destroyed her, crushed her heart to non repair Right then, I knew I was IN NEED OF HELP. When I saw the pain my SO was going through, I took it PER5ONA, and thought I would do something about it, I would try to get this crap out of my life. I knew that it would not be easy, but I thought what the hell, all I can do is to give it my BestShot. I knew I could do this on my own, that I would just do this all by myself. But after a few days of wanting to click away on the computer, and look at P***, I was just getting way 2frustrated, and my mind was way to burnedout, to continue on my own.

So I got on the computer, to search out some help. I came across a couple of sites, I checked them out, and knew, the one called TTF, was the one to stay at, to see what it really was about. In reading a lot of stories there, I saw that I was not alone in this, that I really was not the only sick man on this earth. But what really hit me hard, and I mean as hard as if I ran in front of a Mac truck, was just how many relationships were destroyed because of this crap. I might have been there a couple of days, and I decided to write in what they call the new members area. This is where you introduce yourself, and spill your guts for all to read. I don’t even think a couple of hours went by, and people were already saying things back to me. I thought wow, what a place to be at, people was already talking back. Right then, I became very hopeful, that I may be able to do this. Everywhere I read in a journal they all said we do this One day at a time. And so many told me that if I was to go anywhere in my recovery, I would need to be very Tru2myself in all things about my recovery.

Even after some time here, I knew I needed to continue in my recovery. I could still see the pain in my SO’s BigEyes , and I knew that her heart was still raining on the inside, so I knew I needed to help her to try to heal, and at the same time, I still needed to try to healme. Man it sucks when I do see just how Thoughtless I have become in my life. But I am here still after a year of freedom from this crap, still trying, still wantingfreedom, no longing wanting to be that man I was with a very FoolishMind. I am not longer that Lost_One, who was like a Rockinastorm, rolling closer to the edge with this addiction. My recovery is no way over, or close to being over, but the road I am one right now, is a lot smoother for me to cruise on, as if I was sitting in a classic 65FORD, but being ever so aware of many bumps that can be on My road to a new life