not a problem

[metalfossil]

Hello,

When I finally admitted to myself that I had a problem, I was surprised by the amount of men that thought I was an idiot for even thinking that P is a problem. I have even had doctors who are surprised when I inform them that I'm addicted to P. This leaves me wondering that perhaps society as a whole has changed their values in regards to P. Or maybe it's my view on P that is wrong. In other words it is normal to look occasionaly but not okay to stare. If you catch my drift?

I'm not even sure if I can give up. I want to and I guess that is what I tell myself when the dark thoughts intrude.

I love my wife dearly and this affliction of mine has cost her her self confidence, her self esteem, and our marriage is teetering on the brink...

I know I'm rambling and I hope I've made some sense. Thanks for listening.

[TYC113]

Yeah, I wouldn't tell anyone about trying to break P addiction. I think that would be it. P is a multi-billion dollar industry in this country alone, so lots of people have to be watching it and addicted to it. Those doctors probably watch it too. P has seeped into mainstream culture and is controlling media basically. It's awful.

I would say to you that you could use some new friends and find new doctors that will support your decision. They are being judgemental by saying that. That's so rude what they are saying about your decision. But just remember, you have a site filled with people that support your decision, TTF.

[exteberria]

I agree with TYC, a lot of people don't realise the sheer damage that p is doing to our society - or they are just realising now. I also don't bring up my issues with p with other people nor do I openly speak about my dislike of p in front of groups of people. My decision about abstaining from p is my decision, its not up for discussion. I don't care if some use p normally, I don't want the stuff in my life and I completely hate it for what it does to women and men alike.

[RMH]

Well, from my point of view as an SO that's been dealing with this for 10 years, I can comfortably say that I didn't use to have a problem with P. In fact when I first saw my Husband using it, I was intrigued and didn't mind utilizing it in our relationship. I considered myself a very open minded indivdual when it came to our s** life.

Where I started having a problem with it, and it started killing my self-esteem, is when my husband chose to view it and A/O instead of coming to me. So our relationship was hindered, we did not have s** as often because of his watching... It turned into a vicious cycle where he wouldn't come to me because he thought I wasn't satisfied with our s** life. I wasn't satisfied with our S** life because he was viewing/Acting out and not involving me, and his requests started getting more and more radical, leading me to believe he was attempting to have me A/O what he had viewed... Does that make sense? That's when I started having a problem with it, when I felt like I had to COMPETE with an impossibly perfect Barbie doll in order to satisfy my husband.

And then the fact that he refused to quit even after several conversations about how it made me feel about myself, how I felt it was intrusive to our sacred marital bond, and how all his hiding and lying then led me to believe that he had strayed even further from our relationship and possibly committed adultery..

My marriage was single-handedly destroyed becuase of P. We are getting a divorce. Becuase of P. Becuase of everything P made him do, and his lack of willingness to seek help to end it...

Just Food for thought, from an SO's point of view. I tried to be as neutral as possible and apologize if I was not.

[metalfossil]

RMH, thanks for sharing your views and it is a great help to see it from a SO's point. P has also affected my marriage of nearly twenty five years in a similar way. I love my wife dearly and P I know will cause my wife to leave if I do not stop viewing it. From first hand experience I know how differently it makes a P user view the opposite sex and how insidiously it worms its way into a user's sex life...

Myself, I let people know about my addiction as I feel it needs to be out there. It is destructive and esteem destroying and I want to spread that message. If people back away from me in the process that is their problem.

Well, from my point of view as an SO that's been dealing with this for 10 years, I can comfortably say that I didn't use to have a problem with P. In fact when I first saw my Husband using it, I was intrigued and didn't mind utilizing it in our relationship. I considered myself a very open minded indivdual when it came to our s** life.

Where I started having a problem with it, and it started killing my self-esteem, is when my husband chose to view it and A/O instead of coming to me. So our relationship was hindered, we did not have s** as often because of his watching... It turned into a vicious cycle where he wouldn't come to me because he thought I wasn't satisfied with our s** life. I wasn't satisfied with our S** life because he was viewing/Acting out and not involving me, and his requests started getting more and more radical, leading me to believe he was attempting to have me A/O what he had viewed... Does that make sense? That's when I started having a problem with it, when I felt like I had to COMPETE with an impossibly perfect Barbie doll in order to satisfy my husband.

And then the fact that he refused to quit even after several conversations about how it made me feel about myself, how I felt it was intrusive to our sacred marital bond, and how all his hiding and lying then led me to believe that he had strayed even further from our relationship and possibly committed adultery..

My marriage was single-handedly destroyed becuase of P. We are getting a divorce. Becuase of P. Becuase of everything P made him do, and his lack of willingness to seek help to end it...

Just Food for thought, from an SO's point of view. I tried to be as neutral as possible and apologize if I was not.