Success experience with stopping pmo and anxiety/depression?

[Want2BeFree]

Hey,

I'm looking for some experiences of people that that overcame social anxiety and depression through stopping pmo. I know there's recovery journals; I've spent time going through some of them but haven't really found any solid evidence. Seems that a lot people are stopping pmo for other reasons.

I'd like to know a if there is a general consensuses among people that have been here a while that stopping PMO directly benefits social interaction, how long in-till you see results, and if other major personal changes we're required.

Thanks.

[TYC113]

Well, I would say that I definitely had social anxiety before and was having a hard time dealing with social interactions. I don't really like them too much to be honest with you unless it's through church and stuff. Even my friends who don't go to church with me, I am having a hard time bonding with them to be honest. So I just need to find some new friends all together. But I would definitely have to say that trying to stop internet P helps with social interaction. Before I would feel so inadequate in social situations because of my P habits, and then I would feel so scared to be in social situations and scared to invite friends over because I worried that they would find my internet P.So I kept it in secret and was able to do so for such a long time without having people find out about it. But the weird thing about it is that the longer I kept it a secret, the worse my social skills got. I still don't feel I have great social skills, but I do want to get better now. But I never really learned social skills because I was a P addict. The P addiction really stopped me from going out and meeting people, developing social skills. So I tried to go out and meet people and make friends, but I was so unsuccessful and still addicted to P. So I still watched, causing me to go back into privacy.

Then I worried that they would laugh at me for having it too. I worried about other people thinking I was a sick pervert for having watched P. But that all changed a little bit for me after I told my friend and I told my church about it (They're a really good group of people). I found out that I wasn't the only pervert in the world. There were so many people who deal with this like me. So all the thinking and anxiety was quickly rid of as soon as I figured out it was in my head.

[TooSensitive]

I would say that quitting p and mb will help ease the anxiety and depression, but it may not be enough. It wasn’t enough for my h. We believe the anxiety and depression are innate for him, and separate and apart from the PA/SA. They existed within him prior to the start of his addiction, and so, they were building blocks upon which the addiction formed. The anxiety and depression and many of his moods and negative emotions did not go away with sobriety. Was that b/c he did not work his recovery right, or is that b/c these things are truly innate for him? We await the upcoming psychiatrist appointment for a proper diagnosis(es). If these things are innate, then they will continue to get in the way of recovery, and he will remain “stuck” in many ways, until he gets a proper diagnosis(es), followed by proper treatment for whatever else ails him.

That being said, I believe that quitting p and mb will help alleviate at least some of it, even if these things do end up being innate for you. The more learned the anxiety and depression – the more it is due to being a result of viewing p and mb’ing – the more easily it will eliminate itself during recovery.

But if anxiety and depression are in fact true mental health disorders for a person, they will most likely require some form of professional treatment, before one can learn how to manage them. Quitting p and mb will be but one tool used in getting there, as will recovery in general. Meds, therapy, and/or mental health support groups will be others, if necessary to go there. Only you will know, in knowing yourself best. Well, you, as well as a mental health professional, if you quit, yet you do not get the results for which you are hoping.

Good luck to you. I do hope you choose the path toward sobriety and recovery, and that it is all you find you need to do to alleviate your anxiety and depression. And if you find it isn’t enough, I do hope you will seek out more help for yourself.

[Disillusioned]

I believe social anxiety is overcome when you push yourself to get out there and interact with others. You'll make goofs, we all do, so try to be a little gentle on yourself. Being at ease socially is an accomplishment that comes from being comfortable with ourselves and knowing ourselves. While using p to numb the disappointments and anxieties of living, we miss many opportunities for personal growth.
I believe that in addition to that P messes up our minds so that we are over s-xu-lly aware in social situations, which adds to the discomfort of social anxiety. I encourage you to try to look at a person's face and eyes...not stare, just as a barometer of the person's feelings and communication. It helps you see the person and not body parts. I also encourage you to get out there, join groups that go along with things that interest you, and particularly ones in which feelings and emoting are involved...drama clubs, book clubs, speech making, poetry....All things to help pull you a bit out of yourself and allow you to explore who you are and how you share that with others. It is a good choice, a bit uncomfortable at times, but as you do it more often, you will learn much about yourself and be more able to read what others are saying and feeling.
By the way, I too, have social anxiety. I have to really push myself to get out there and be with others. As I said, it gets easier with practice, and you just have to take the time and pain to do it. It is part of growing and part of beign present in our own lives, which is what we need to do in order to participate in the real and living world.
Good luck...
disillusoned

[exteberria]

I can definitely say that as a 23 year old man, I've overcome my social anxiety, and let me say this - I had a miserable time growing up with:
p addiction, a negative circle of friends, living in a small country town, and no girlfriends. I think the major things that changed my life were:

- getting overseas -> meeting loads and loads of different people and learning about different personality types. As well as discovering different cultures and different views of life.
It was such an amazing thing for me to be able to go to countries where relationships are far more common and preferred by both men and women. Equally, it was inspiring to see how poor people with little opportunities, are so cheerful and hard-working. I say this because I find in the country where I'm from - people generally have a very narrow view of how to go about life
- exercising -> I think this was great for my self-esteem, and it can lower your adrenaline (heart beat) (for those heart races when you speak in front of a group of people), I also started doing boxing which made me feel more comfortable about defending myself
- self-help tapes -> I have some favourite authors of mine that have really good advice on self-esteem and how to go about leading a successful life

Changes came however after two to three years. I was extremely nervous and awkward in high school and even in my first couple of years in Uni. I like the saying, 'success always comes in the long term'. And I also like the saying 'always look for the next level', that meaning that you should never ever stop in the process of self-improvement.
I would say that when I became stronger with doing away with p, I became more of a human - or that I became a human again. I think p took away a lot of the emotion I felt for the girls I was with. P made me carelessly ignore what the girl might be feeling..

[WayFarerNation]

Quitting P has not cured my sorrows and anxieties but it has given me stronger clarity in discovering what is causing me emotional pain. When I used P I was never quite sure what was making me sad.