I once knew a man...

[JenMac]

Yes, you made bad choices - but you are not bad people. Past mistakes do not have to define you the rest of your lives. From the moment you choose true recovery, you are a better person then you were just the moment prior to that new, healthier choice. Embrace it and allow yourself to feel proud of it. : )

Inspired by these words of Hibiscus, I wanted to write about a man I once came to know.
This wonderful kind caring gentleman came into Mac and my life in our younger years when our own fathers were aging and suffering ill health. This dear friend became like a father to us over our summers spent as neighbours in cottage country. He was such a strong, quiet, gentle force who kept mostly to himself with his wife and family. He was very much the family man, always involved with grandchildren and their activities.
Oh you knew there were stories he would tell about his younger days and escapades. He told many stories after all. And we enjoyed hearing every one of them.
We loved this man like he was our own father. He was a fine example to us of how a man should be in regards to being a good husband, a good father, a good neighbour and friend. A respectful, kind and wise man. We enjoyed many nights at the fire or mornings over coffee listening to his stories and tall tales.
It was only on knowing his one daughter well that we would have known that this man had a difficult past. It was only through her words that we came to understand what this man and family had been through over the years.
She shared with us that this man was not the man she grew up with. This man she didn't know as her father. Life had been h*ll while he was in the throws of an addiction to alcohol and all that came along with that.
But here he was years later, a wonderful man by all accounts.
The man that she described was not the man we knew. He didn't exist anymore. Oh yes, the memories of that man existed in the minds of his loved ones, but the changes were so distinct as to make him unrecognizable to them. He had learned and grown and become so much more than what he was during that difficult time of his life. He had made things right in his life and the evidence was all around him. You could feel the closeness and respect that surrounded the entire family.
I so believe in the words written by Hibiscus. It is what I truly believe. You can't change what has happened in the past. You can only go forward from here. The difficult times in our lives can inspire great lessons and the changes that you make in your life can be everlasting. Good things can transpire for us when we put our efforts in the right direction. That is what is happening here.
Forgiveness is all around us. We have to learn to put it in our hearts and give it freely, both to others and to ourselves.

Jenn

[Mac]

Hey Jenn
What a great post and you make a very good point here with the fact that people can change.
When i read the title of the post I thought i was going to be reading something about me, i know it isn't always all about me.
When i realized what your post was about I had a tear in my eye and a big lump in my throat. Our dear friend truly was a most special person.
This gentle giant taught me a lot, some of which I didn't realize until he was gone from our lives and some of which truly has taken on a new meaning through our struggles. I think to myself today, he would have helped me through this crisis, i know he would have.
You know Jenn, he always would tell me to be sure i took care of you and I know the very last time i spoke to him that is the last thing he said to me. If he was here today he would kick my ass i'm sure.
Thank you for the reference you made here as it really is a good message for recovery.
I feel sad that people like this are no longer here, but it was sure nice to be reminded that a person I so loved and respected also had some struggles of his own and was able to put that behind him and make amends. Jenn I will take care of you, you can count on that. I know that one day I will have to answer to someone if I don't.
Thanks a lot for this Jenn.
RIP LJR

Mac