Dirty Songs & Images

[TYC113]

I don't know about you guys, but before I decided to come onto here, I used to not only watch P but also listen to songs with very dirty lyrics. Lyrics that would be like "*********************************. I don't like that music anymore, it's really degrading to me to women. But that doesn't ever stop the songs from popping into my mind occasionally when I don't want it. I try to shake it, but it doesn't ever seem to leave my mind. Does anyone have this problem of sexual songs/images popping into memory unwanted? How do you deal with them?

[Disillusioned]

Can't answer from a PA point of view, but some of the songs I have heard years ago pop into my mind and drive me crazy for days trying to remember a lyric. You might try mental imagery, as in seeing the lyrics on a blackboard and erasing them with a wet cloth and bucket of water. You might also try putting different words to the tune, or thinking of a new tune all together. Hum it out loud in order to over-ride the memory circuits you wish to silence. I know as time goes on, Ty, this will get more distant. It will haunt you less. You can also imagine putting the words on paper and throwing them in a garbage can, slamming the lid shut, and walking away.
You are trying to retrain your brain to work in a healthier way. It takes patience. I hope some of the other PAs will jump in and offer you suggestions they used. I am sure there's would be far more helpful than this old lady's. AS I type this, I'm hearing the jingle "I am stuck on Bandaids, cause band aids stuck on me," from the old tv ad. I used to insert my children's names in this and sing it to them when I was spoon feeding or diapering them. With no air-conditioning and open screens, the neighborhood kids got a kick out of these and told me about listening many years later.
disillsuioned

[TooSensitive]

Songs can be triggers, too. They are for me, and they are for my h. It is easy enough to change the radio station. Not so easy to change the station playing inside your own head.

I would say that whatever tools used to avoid inappropriate thoughts, and in retraining your brain to think differently, can also be used to get the songs out of your head.

It is very difficult for me, when my h and I are out at a place with a jukebox or radio station playing over the loudspeakers, and one of those triggering songs comes on. Sometimes I feel myself sliding down. Other times, I am able to find someone or something else to distract myself. It helps me when I am able to focus on my h. If I am home alone and one of those songs won't stop playing in my head, I find some type of activity to distract myself, or I pick up the phone and call a friend. I don't necessarily talk through what I am going through with my friend, but during the course of a normal conversation, before I know it, the song is gone.

There are always ways of getting out of our own heads and distracting ourselves from our own thoughts. It just takes practice in doing it, before we begin to get better at it. Even doing something as simple as a jigsaw puzzle might help. There is always a way, when we look for it.

ETA: I just thought of another trick. Maybe it would help, if the situation permits, to fire up your stereo, car radio, Ipod, etc. to play a totally different song. Hopefully hearing the new song will override the one you are trying to eliminate from your mind.

[TYC113]

The bandaids song does so funny. I do like that. And I also like your mental imagery and placing the lyrics in front of me. I think that if I actually thought of the lyrics and what the artist was saying and how it was so dirty, I wouldn't ever want to think of it again. The words are just so vulgar about killing, violence, sex, and calling girls names that I wouldn't want that to be me. At least not again. You're right, I should be focusing on the words and use imagery to picture how horrible it would be if that was me saying it. I would be pretty scared if I said them. Then I'm sure I can get rid of them.

[TYC113]

Thank you so very much, Toosensitive. You & Disillusioned give such great advice. I don't own a car right now, but I can always use my MP3 Player and put some really great and good for the soul music to cancel out the bad. I think that is going to help. Distract the mind and then I can eventually get the song out of my head. I do need to find some activities in life. I would like to do that. Toosensitive, thank you. And thank you, disillusioned.

[2frustrated]

How about a little classical music?

[TYC113]

Well, I already listen to it. But I don't listen to dirty songs anymore. I haven't for a very long time. I really haven't. I stopped doing that after the time I had the dream. So I really don't care for it. It's just that they keep popping into memory. It's weird. I listen to other songs that don't have anything vulgar and are good for the soul in my opinion. So I guess I just need to stop focusing on them.

[Hopeful]

Hi TYC,

I never realized how many songs I have liked in the past have had content in them that I now find disturbing or offensive. Sad really....but in the past year I have heard so many wonderful songs with meanings that I might have never noticed before. It has been one of the bright spots. There is a lot of great music out there if you listen for it!

I'm not sure what kind of music you prefer but I really like TobyMac if you've ever heard of him. lol Or try Reach Radio on the computer.

[Yesterday Is History]

I can relate to this. What I do is replace all the bad music with tons of Christian music, which even if you're not a Christian, really helps (in my opinion) you not to think about all the bad music thats out there. That's just what I've found works for me though.