Question about Movies

[BrokenHeartedAgain]

Are movies with nudity and SC a no-no for a recovering PA, or could they be a trigger?

[FoolishMind]

To me this was an obvious thing to stay away from. Whenever renting a movie, I would check the guidance label and if it said there was any nudity, I wouldnt event get it. That sadly does take a lot out from the choice of movies today, but I would say a definate no no for the early part of recovery, Later on, as you gain strength and begin changing the way you think, you can get these and fast forward as soon as you can gage a certain scene is approaching.

FM

[stillandagain]

I have come to learn and believe that "anything used AS P IS P"

Beanhead and I have discussed this movie thing many times during his sobriety. We have decided that we will not view movies with nudity of any kind, overtly sexual images, and scenes. We enjoyed those things, so it is definietly new recovery-related behavior. Years will tell if we open our lives to these movies - it will take years, I think.

That said, though, if "anything used AS p IS p to the PA," then there is NO eliminating POTENTIAL triggers except hyper-self-awareness, consistent vigilance and constant choices. They can avoid pix and movies and magazines and whatever/wherever is the source, but not the people everywhere, in every form, that could trigger a thought.

"this" is hard work, but it IS possible! I believe it.

[rosie]

I think the only person who can answer this question is the PA. He knows what his triggers are. I think if they were honest with themselves about it, they would know the answers to this.

I never got why I used to feel uncomfortable around my husband while watching regular sex scenes in movies. It was this feeling of discomfort... as if watching it with your parents. Now I know!

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

We don't watch movies with SX scenes because it makes us both uncomfortable. My husband told me he doesn't have any interest because it reminds him of who he used to be, and he has no desire to watch anything that trivializes sx or makes it a form of entertainment. This also extends to other things that we used to watch on TV. We try to avoid any show where the punchline always has to do with sx. Both of our eyes are opened now so we try not to view sx as entertainment. But, like Rosie said, your H should identify his triggers, and you should identify yours so you both can be comfortable.

[maggie]

I find obvious s*x scenes or innuendos in a movie a trigger anxiety and anger in me. Why do I have to screen my environment for him ?

That said, it's ridiculous how Hollywood has to inject some aspect of sex into story lines when it is not even needed.


Decided to watch The Bucket List again the other night, thinking it was a heartfelt, interesting story of two very different men, planning and living out their few weeks alive. The minute my h walked into the room, there was a quick scene flashed of Jack Nicholson exiting the plane's cabin with a much younger women buttoning her blouse!! Really ? Was that necessary in this story line ?
Oh yea, at the very end Jack N realizes that he needs real love and commitment in his life and chasing rainbows leaves him alone and empty; but why did they have to stick that triggering scene in a good movie?

[rosie]

I've noticed that movie sex scenes are not what they used to be, either. They used to be a sheet and a brief few moments of awkwardness, but now they are pretty involved and extensive - why am I not surprised.

[edjames71]

Being a PA/SA...honestly I can say nudity and SC in Hollywood movies isn't a trigger for me. My triggers are different and since I'm much more aware of them I can deal with them in a positive way instead of a destructive way.

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

Even if movies weren't a trigger for my husband like edjames, they are a trigger for me. I can't know for sure if my husband reacts or not and it makes me uncomfortable so we still don't watch things like that.

[edjames71]

Even if movies weren't a trigger for my husband like edjames, they are a trigger for me. I can't know for sure if my husband reacts or not and it makes me uncomfortable so we still don't watch things like that.

I think it's good both of you agree not to watch them because it makes you uncomfortable. If my SO felt uncomfortable about me or us watching those kind of movies I wouldn't watch them either to support her.