Question?-What is your reasoning for "Loving-P" being 'bad'?

[rosie]

I hate all porn. I won't go into exactly why right now because i want some different opinions.

A friend asked me recently, what I think about "loving porn" - the type where the woman is treated like an equal (rare) and where her pleasure is a focus as well as the mans. Soft, gentle, loving type porn.

So, what is your reasoning for this sort of porn being 'banned' in your life? Do you think this sort of porn is "bad" and if so, why?

[Thunderdash]

The reason I banned porn in my life is almost entirely the devastating effect it has on my mental and social life.
I never really had much ethical concerns about it because this only applies to commercial P. But nowadays since everyone has digital cameras, the web is full of amateur P of couples where presumably no one is financially forced to do it. I also preferred this kind of P because it is realistic, unlike those with professional actors.
But nevertheless, it is still addictive and incompatible with healthy, normal relationships.
If you could buy "fair-trade" heroin where some poor farmers get treated reasonably, would that make the drug any less harmful to you??

[Zachary]

A friend asked me recently, what I think about "loving porn" - the type where the woman is treated like an equal (rare) and where her pleasure is a focus as well as the mans. Soft, gentle, loving type porn.

It doesn't exist. P is P, there's no more or less degrading, more or less violent, more or less horrible. It's all that kind of P.

[vintageturtle]

So, what is your reasoning for this sort of porn being 'banned' in your life? Do you think this sort of porn is "bad" and if so, why?

"Loving" P is still taking the focus of your sexual energy (for lack of a better way of expressing it) away from your spouse and towards an image.

Well, maybe I should back it up a bit. The quick, simple summary of my reasoning is that P is prohibited by my religious beliefs. So whether it is "regular" P or "loving" P is irrelevant.

[Phil413]

It doesn't exist. P is P, there's no more or less degrading, more or less violent, more or less horrible. It's all that kind of P.

Respectfully, I don't see how you can say that, since it is manifestly untrue. Regrettably, I speak from first-hand experience. Some porn is extremely violent, and some isn't violent at all. And there certainly are different degrees of degradation involved.

It is all morally reprehensible and all quite evil, but it is not all the same.

Phil

[chasman62]

Rosie:

Generally I like your posts. I think you have an interesting and different perspective..but this is really pretty close to just trolling.

There is no way I am going to express my opinion on a subject like this and risk the wrath of the thought police.

I believe that this forum should focus on what we all agree on which is what it takes to free oneself from a compulsive use of p or sex as a mechanism to cope with issues/problems in ones life. That is what is destructive. The broader issues are where we get into people's moral or political agendas and I am just not going there anymore.

Chas

[rosie]

Oh so this is the post you were referring to Chas. Trolling??? You can't be serious.

I asked this question because people have put it to me and I find it difficult to answer given my thoughts on porn as a feminist issue, rather than an addictive issue.

I appreciate the thoughts so far, going to bed but will be back to respond in the morning :)

[rosie]

It doesn't exist. P is P, there's no more or less degrading, more or less violent, more or less horrible. It's all that kind of P.

That's what I though, too, but I was shown examples where this isn't the case.

This really made me think, because my stance has been that porn is violence against women generally, and it exploits both men and women in the name of money.

Some of the P available now though, is supposedly 'loving', and much of it is free. I am trying to figure out where others stand on this type of porn. From what i've read, there is nowhere else to go for porn producers in terms of "hardcore-ness", and accordingly, some are turning towards doing more 'intimate' P which to some blurs the 'wrongness' lines of P.

I am not saying that this sort of P is in ANY way acceptable, by the way - just to be sure. I hate all porn. Period.

[Phil413]

That's what I though, too, but I was shown examples where this isn't the case.

This really made me think, because my stance has been that porn is violence against women generally, and it exploits both men and women in the name of money.

Some of the P available now though, is supposedly 'loving', and much of it is free. I am trying to figure out where others stand on this type of porn. From what i've read, there is nowhere else to go for porn producers in terms of "hardcore-ness", and accordingly, some are turning towards doing more 'intimate' P which to some blurs the 'wrongness' lines of P.

I am not saying that this sort of P is in ANY way acceptable, by the way - just to be sure. I hate all porn. Period.

I think this is an excellent thing to be aware of. We're often saying that porn is bad because it's violent or degrading or because the porn industry uses people, etc.

So what about when none of those things apply? What about when the porn is not violent or degrading or made by the industry? You know intuitively that it's still bad, but you're having a hard time articulating why.

I would say that it's bad because it displays for entertainment something that is meant to be very personal and private -- and I would say sacred. It cheapens and debases and commercializes the intimate love that's meant to be shared only between spouses. It's bad because it causes those who view it for sexual pleasure to commit a form of adultery. It's bad because the SO's of those who view it for pleasure are devastated by that adultery. It's bad because it is addictive and because it leads to escalation to even worse forms of porn, and to even worse forms of acting out. It's bad because it destroys families, breaks up marriages, and leaves children traumatized. It destroys much and gives nothing in return but the trail of ruined lives it leaves in its wake.

How's that for a start?

Phil

[HopefulsRock]

I agree with Chas,

I believe that this forum should focus on what we all agree on which is what it takes to free oneself from a compulsive use of p or sex as a mechanism to cope with issues/problems in ones life.

and I couldn't possibly say it better than Phil just did... end of story!

This is Through The Flame.org - pornography & sex addiction support group...
Maybe a million miles down the road someone here might actually care where the P industry is headed or if they can make something thats accepting to the human race, ...but I highly doubt it!