In a bad situation> NEED HELP

[God Forgive Me]

Here is my problem...

I play football all the time and I have a couple of friends who are addicted to P. They talk about it all the time even when they play and the attitude towards women disgust me. They treat women as sexual objects and if i'm in a group with them, they talk about it and I can't stand it !!!!!!!!!

I'm afraid that they might trigger my addiction again...........So how do I solve this ??

[God Forgive Me]

Besides that, they are good people but for them P is acceptable coz its not a sin to them .

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Here is my problem...

I play football all the time and I have a couple of friends who are addicted to P. They talk about it all the time even when they play and the attitude towards women disgust me. They treat women as sexual objects and if i'm in a group with them, they talk about it and I can't stand it !!!!!!!!!

I'm afraid that they might trigger my addiction again...........So how do I solve this ??

This is something that you need to decide from your heart. you play football with them, so you will always be around them. But that dosent mean that you have to sit there and listen to them. If they just make a few comments, then you can easy just try not to listen, but if it is a on going conversation with them, maybe it is just best to walk away
Just remember one thing my friend, if we are to even have a chance at this fight, in our recovery, we need to remove anything change anything that can serve as a trigger to us
So I think you already know what the right answer is

Only you know what your triggers are, and only you know just what you can handle in your recovery

[Phil413]

Here is my problem...

I play football all the time and I have a couple of friends who are addicted to P. They talk about it all the time even when they play and the attitude towards women disgust me. They treat women as sexual objects and if i'm in a group with them, they talk about it and I can't stand it !!!!!!!!!

I'm afraid that they might trigger my addiction again...........So how do I solve this ??

My advice is that you consider anything that seriously jeopardizes your recovery expendable.

Maybe you could talk to your friends, tell them you don't like that kind of talk, and ask that they refrain from it in your presence. If they refuse, then I guess you'd have to decide whether continuing to play football would constitute a serious threat to your recovery.

Phil

[vintageturtle]

I agree with Phil. At first, we held back from being really "extreme" about removing triggers. We thought we were being extreme, but we still did some rationalizing, saying it's probably not a big deal with we watch this movie, we can skip any bad parts; H probably doesn't have to go all the way in to the city for SA meetings. Etc. That led to some stumbling and then a relapse at around 6 months after H first told me about his PA. After that wake up call, we realized that we hadn't been taking things as seriously as we needed to. We have taken further steps since then and are still on the lookout for things we've missed.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

My advice is that you consider anything that seriously jeopardizes your recovery expendable.

Maybe you could talk to your friends, tell them you don't like that kind of talk, and ask that they refrain from it in your presence. If they refuse, then I guess you'd have to decide whether continuing to play football would constitute a serious threat to your recovery.

Phil

Very good point Phil.

[samski]

Personally, my advice would be to ask yourself this question:

What is more important to you, your friendships or your recovery?

I'm not saying that you have to choose between the two today, but if it comes to that point, after speaking with them, are you willing to remove any and all obstacles to your recovery?

While I realize that this is not a religious centric recovery site, I'm going to quote the Bible in this case:

"Be not led astray; evil communications corrupt good manners;" 1 Corinthinans 15:33

I'm not calling your friends abjectly evil, but you need to ask yourself what kind of people you want to surround yourself with now and in the future. If you want to treat women mentally, emotionally and physically with the respect and esteem that they deserve, do you want to fellowship with those who don't or won't?

[God Forgive Me]

Ok............thanks for the replies..............I'll try to talk to them :D

[rosie]

If the talk fails, its a no brainer. Recovery is the #1 (or i assume it should be) - and if anything jeopardizes that it has to go.

[God Forgive Me]

Here is my problem...

I play football all the time and I have a couple of friends who are addicted to P. They talk about it all the time even when they play and the attitude towards women disgust me. They treat women as sexual objects and if i'm in a group with them, they talk about it and I can't stand it !!!!!!!!!

I'm afraid that they might trigger my addiction again...........So how do I solve this ??

If the talk fails, its a no brainer. Recovery is the #1 (or i assume it should be) - and if anything jeopardizes that it has to go.

The football or the friends ??