How frequently did/do you consume

[blindside]

I have a question about the frequency with which you guys act out or used to act out. The biggest reason I did not consider my P consumption as problematic is because for so long now my use of porn was on average every other day. However this was punctuated by days of extremely heavy use. In recent time those incidents of heavy use started to get closer in time and I could no longer deny I had a problem

My question is has anyone else experienced being able to consume porn on an every other day sort of basis? Even though I am completely clear on my need for quitting porn usage and Mb it still is hard for me to fathom myself being addicted when it wasn't something I needed to do on a daily basis.

Has anyone else had this experience or could anyone else share their opinions on this?

Thanks.

[CJnOhio]

I could go weeks, even much longer without using. Answer these questions to yourself, then ask yourself, are you addicted?

Is it something that you would want your kids to do?
Is it something that you are comfortable talking to your friends about?
Is it something you have to do in private?
Is it something that you lie to people about?
Do you hide it?
Are you embarrassed, nervous about what other might find on your computer?
Does it hurt your relationship with your family, spouse?
Does it hurt your relationship with God?
Have you tried to stop before but can't?
Do you feel emotionally sad, down, upset afterwords?
Do you view women as objects, instead of people?
Would your friends be proud of you?

[Phil413]

Hi, blindside. It's funny how relative this stuff is. You consider every-other-day porn use "not problematic." I would have considered it the very depths of out-of-control depravity.

My pattern was I would act out for a few hours in the middle of the night every week or two. Usually, for about five to ten days after I acted out I didn't feel the slightest urge to do so again. I think that's what made me able to repeatedly fool myself into believing that I was finally done with it. But I wasn't. Like clockwork the urges would return, I'd resist for a bit, then fold. Repeat cycle.

My question is has anyone else experienced being able to consume porn on an every other day sort of basis? Even though I am completely clear on my need for quitting porn usage and Mb it still is hard for me to fathom myself being addicted when it wasn't something I needed to do on a daily basis.

The proof that we're addicted is that we can't stop when we want to. It doesn't matter if our cycle is daily, every-other-day, weekly, monthly, or whatever. The cycle of addiction can vary greatly from one person to another, but it's still a recognizable cycle. And honestly, every-other-day is really, really a lot.

I'm so glad you're here trying to break free from its grip!

Phil

[IN NEED OF HELP]

blindside
To be honest, I acted out any moment I was alone. I was so deep in this addiction. Many time, I would run to my computer to get a glance at something, or start a download of a video, the moment my SO ran in to take a shower.
Lot of people just dont understand how much this Porn affected me. I had to have it as much as I could. Monday thru Friday, I am alone all day, so there would be many hours per day for me to feed on it.

Now that I am free from this for over 3 months, I see just how sick I truly was. I never want to be in that place again in my life

[FoolishMind]

I would say I was the same as CjnOhio, could go weeks without none, and then have days of total binge, no real pattern other than it consumed my life.

[iwilldothis]

Same as Foolishminds here. Weeks without (usually no more than 2-3 weeks though) and then a few days of serious binging.

Oh those wasted hours, those wasted opportunities, this damaged mind.

[blindside]

Wow. CJnOhio, your questions are right on. Phil413 you say you were "able to repeatedly fool myself into believing that I was finally done with it" I almost have tears in my eyes right now guys. It's so good to finally be able to talk about this with someone other than the voice inside my own head....

Like FoolishMind said, regardless of your frequency, when you're in the tunnel vision grip of porn binging, you have NO control.

There is so much misinformation out there, about how everyone does it and it's ok if you're not doing it all the time. All I know is I hate loosing personal control at my own hands. The first step to beating this is to realize all the ways your own brain tries to trick you into thinking you don't need help and that you're ok. When you sure as heck are not.

Thank you all for your comments.

[Viper66]

I had it baaaad. I would "use" every chance I got and I could not stop. If left unchecked this would have ruined my marriage and my life.

My life had become unmanageable. First sign of an addiction is exactly that (for me).

It feels so good to go days and weeks without even a thought of this crap. When I first stopped I would get hits every twenty seconds or so! Now I can go almost a week without giving this crap a thought and even longer without having to deal with it.

I hope the damage I have done to my marriage can be repaired and we will have a stronger marriage because of it.

Viper

[PER50NA]

simplest answer would be whenever I could

[blindside]

well my frequency of usage is coming into the spotlight now. Regardless of how it was before i am no trying to go cold turkey. It really puts a new perspective on things!..