A few questions.

[Tony1983]

Hi my name is Tony and my problem is with Pa and Mb as well. I've tried to quit several times but I've failed. The longest I have ever gone sober has been 8 days. I've tried to Mb without P but one has led me to the other. My questions are. 1. Is it possible for a male to completely cut off Mb like forever. 2. In the beginning of every sobriety period the cravings are really intense, does it get better do the cravings weaken with time, or is it a deamon you have to wrestle every day. 3. Is there any medication any pill that can help with the cravings. 4. Is P and Mb addiction the kind of thing that one can fight and put behind, or is it a constant battle. Any insight is greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long text.

[Phil413]

Hi Tony, welcome aboard!

1. Is it possible for a male to completely cut off Mb like forever.

Absolutely. Today is my fiftieth day without either P or MB. Now, if I can go 50 days without MB, why can't I go 60? And if I can go 60, why can't I go 70? etc.

2. In the beginning of every sobriety period the cravings are really intense, does it get better do the cravings weaken with time, or is it a deamon you have to wrestle every day.

In my experience the cravings get considerably weaker over time. After awhile you'll go days, even weeks, without any serious desire for MB.

3. Is there any medication any pill that can help with the cravings.

That I don't know.

4. Is P and Mb addiction the kind of thing that one can fight and put behind, or is it a constant battle.

Ask me again in a couple of years. ;) Seriously, I'm at the point now where I seldom have any real desire for it anymore. When urges do come, they're usually pretty weak and easy to resist.

The first part's the hardest part; it gets easier after that. That's why it's especially important to have some strategies in place to help you stay sober in the beginning. Have you thought about how you're going to tackle this?

Phil

[Tony1983]

I have thought about game plans but nothing has withstood the battleground. My biggest trigger for P is simply siting in front of the computer, l did overcome this by disconnecting the computer tower and putting it in a closet and only reconnecting it only when really necessary. However my triggers for Mb are, coming home from work and simply being alone. I've used Mb for years to kind of relax after work, and P surely follows. Being alone too leads to Mb for me and my living and working situation doesn't really allow me to be around people when the cravings hit.

[UpLifted]

Hey Tony,

I just wanted to let you know that I have been free from P/MB or any type of sexual release for 8 weeks! So yes, it is possible. It does get easier after time and right now I feel like I could keep going without any problem. It may feel like it's impossible to resist, but the more you choose to not give in the less and less power it has over you. I also believe with all my heart that this addiction is something that can be overcome with hard work, a supportive group, honesty, and a commitment to get healthy for you. Stay strong and keep coming here for support.

[Phil413]

I have thought about game plans but nothing has withstood the battleground. My biggest trigger for P is simply siting in front of the computer

If you haven't already done so, I'd suggest you put an Internet filter (e.g., K9) on the computer. It's a lot easier to avoid looking at P if the computer won't let you do it anyway.

However my triggers for Mb are, coming home from work and simply being alone. I've used Mb for years to kind of relax after work, and P surely follows. Being alone too leads to Mb for me and my living and working situation doesn't really allow me to be around people when the cravings hit.

The best advice I can give you, not knowing the specifics of your work/living arrangements, is that you find something to do when you come home from work. Take up a hobby, for instance. Don't just sit there and wait for the urges to overwhelm you. If you've been using MB to relax after work, you can't just quit and leave a void; you've got to fill that void with something else.

Phil

[Tony1983]

Thanks guys. I appreciate it. Being able to talk about this openly with someone is a great comfort and help. I actually find it easier not sitting at the computer at all because I don't get cravings when l use the Internet it's the physical act of sitting at the computer that triggers cravings. Your advice of picking up s hobby is an great idea Phil, I have been trying to learn French part time I'll try to immerse myself in that. Right now I'm sitting at ground zero. Tomorrow will be day 1 for me. I do have one more question Phil and uplifted do you guys have a technique for keeping your thoughts clear when the P images get in your head. Wish me luck.

[Phil413]

I do have one more question Phil and uplifted do you guys have a technique for keeping your thoughts clear when the P images get in your head.

Yes. The only way to drive something out of your head is to put something else in there instead.

Trying not to think about the images doesn't work, of course. The very act of trying not to think about them makes you think about them. So, I think about something else. Maybe I search through the app store for a cool new app for my iPod Touch, or maybe I watch favorite scenes from a clean movie, or maybe I read a passage from a favorite novel. If you're so inclined, reading Scripture would be a great idea.

Phil

[RootedinGod]

Hi Tony,

Hey all I can say is for me its not about days weeks or months.
What I do is the same I do for my Alocoholism, I wake up and know I started the day off without Porn,or MB. I give myself a big atta-boy. I then go to sleep and no matter how sucky my day is if my addiction stayed at bay I give myself another atta-boy at bed time. If I need to I will do this throughout the day and it helps me make something big, I do it similar to Phil, but when needed I do it on a smaller scale, I made it until noon, then I can make it until 5 and then bed time . Before I know it I made it another day.

In AA/NA which I am active in a great saying we use is JUST FOR TODAY. I can not tell anyone here I WILL NOT MB OR WATCH PORN TOMMOROW, thats way to much pressure. I do know I didn't last week or weeks before that, or yesterday. So all I worry about is today. Tommorow is another day, so my goal is to start out tommorow right and work to meet one simple goal of a day just one silly day gees that sounds easy. Having months and weeks are great, but really thats something we already did. Just for today.... its easy if you make the big problem you have small enough to handle.

Hope this helps.

RIG

[grasshopper]

Hi Tony,

There are quite a few threads on this forum that give you basic advice about how to get through those tough early days. And I encouarge you to have a look around this forum. All the advice here is offered because it has worked for different people. You will find what works for you by trying various things, but basically:

1. Remove all porn and all easy access to porn. Remove everything. Throw out all mags including all "soft" porn, delete all files, drives, etc. Everything that you have ever used, or might potentially use for any kind of sexual arousal. Don't save anything "just in case". Install filters and accountability software on all computers you use.

2. Tell someone you trust. Friend, family member, spiritual teacher, pastor, priest. This is one of the most powerful things you can do. You might even find someone with the same problem, though many people will tell you it's normal. If that happens, find someone else or just come back on here.

3. Get active. Walk, exercise, push weights.

4. If you have a religion or spiritual discipline, strengthen it. If you don't have one, find one or something that resembles one. Meditation is a powerful porn antidote.

5. Write in your journal here. Read other journals.

6. Read up on the addiction. There are lots of good articles on this site and lots of recommendations for good books.

7. Grit your teeth. Accept that this is going to be tough. Think of anything else worthwhile you have done in your life. It was tough right? Once you accept that this is tough, it's instantly less tough.

And in answer to your questions...
1. Apparently, yes.
2. Yes you continue to fight the demon. He just gets weaker and you get stronger.
3. If there is a pill, I'm not taking it. Recovery is about learning to live a life where porn doesn't fit in.
4. I think it probably becomes less and less of a battle. I am determined to leave my addiction way way behind me and I believe it's possible.

And finally....
DO NOT give up. If you relapse, just get up and keep going. You will build strength every day you don't porn. You also get a glimpse at how much porn has changed you and how much you will get back from life when you quit.

This could well be the best thing you have ever done for yourself.

Take care
hopper

[phoenix]

Solid advice given in this thread. Here are two other resources that I have found helpful:

"Treating Pornography Addiction," by Dr. Kevin B. Skinner, LMFT
Treating Pornography Addiction Treating Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery (5 CD's + Book)

"Candeo"
Stop Unwanted Sexual Behaviors | Online Program for Change

There is free and purchased content on both sites. Any questions, feel free to ask.

Success.

phoenix