what does progress look like?

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

My husband e-mailed me the other day and told me he was out late at Celebrate Recovery and went to have coffee with the guys after. He said he was out until 11pm and our son called him on the cell phone to tell him something. My husband wanted me to know in case I checked the phone bill and he didn't want me to have any questions about it.

Is this progress? Yes.

Four months ago when I had a question about why our son called him at 11pm the answer I got was: I don't know. Then it was, I had to go to Wal-mart. Then finally, after me pushing him and after a visit to his counsellor, I got the truth, which wasn't pretty.

So... then... lies and manipulation and him making me dig for the truth.

Now.... truth offered freely and him caring enough to anticipate what I would worry about and help me out.

Honesty is difficult, and our PAs have YEARS of dishonesty to overcome. But, this is a step in the right direction.

[Vorlan]

Thanks for sharing WONLM,

The power of simple honesty is amazing isn't it! :)

Best wishes,

Ben

[OpenEyes]

Thanks for sharing that. I am very new to this, still. I also do not want to worry my SO (Alika) and have tried to make a few small changes in behavior. Each change seems like a huge step. But that change in your H describes the change from "me" thinking to "we" thinking. PA is very selfish and as it gets worse, more "me" shows up and less "we".

Thank you again for this. Yet another reminder that the little bits of thoughtfulness DO matter.

OpenEyes
Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor. ~Dr. Alexis Carrel