What are your opinions on masturbation W/O porn?

[ThisWontBeMe]

For it or against it?

I'm kinda on the fence for this one.

There are the pro's such as it may prevent you from looking at pornography.
And then there are the con's such as it MAY not be correct in terms of religion, and you may get addicted to masturbation instead due to the chemicals in the brain that are released while doing it.

Opinions?

[lowlyGiant]

Honestly, I don't really know. I have tried MB without P, just to see if that helped. Well actually, now that I reminice those times, I'd say that it did help, but only for the occassion. After going a few days, I began to wonder, "why is this any diferrent?", thereby causing me to just abandon the quit attempt altogether and fire up a movie-file that was somewhat new at the time. On a semi-related note, I've also tried to look at P and not MB — at least not "fully" (no orgasming). I began getting into a website that offerred free "webTeases", where they'd tell you to "pull it out", "squeeze it 'till it was hard", and "give them (the supposed dominatrix) 5 - 100 strokes", and "order you" "not to cum." I can tell you this one for sure:

That is a "short (3/4 day)" road to complete failure. ...and not just that, but it's just another addiction!! Not too much differrent either (if it's differrent at all), because they put pornographic/suggestive imagery with the literature. It's also written by other men, so what you're being told to do — even though it may seem like a woman — are actually the words of another man; that's just a little too close to homo for my tastes.

On a spiritual note (as you've requested), I suppose it depends on the "material" you're using: if it's a memory, does that not mean at the time you were "looking with lust"? And furthermore(less religiously but still spiritual), if you MB w/o P, you're still letting your mind be consumed by that desire, there-by increasing the temptation to "just abandon your attempt."

So it seems, though I began this post with, "Honestly, I don't really know," it seems that I don't believe it's okay.

[clog]

For those in a relationship, I would say NO, not OK to MB without P unless you are with your partner. Part of what is undermining our relationships is that we pursue sexual gratification away from our partners. We need to re-establish the link between sex and love to make our relationships whole. Now here is something I notice - when you don't MB everyday, the intensity of the feelings when you are intimate with your partner is much, much stronger. And being intimate is so much more rewarding for both partners. It's rather obvious really, but easy to forget for those with a daily P and MB habit.

P without MB is definitely a no go area. Just ban it from your life.

For those not in a relationship, I'm not sure what to say. What I would worry about is the fact that us men are very visually inclined and therefore it is quite likely that we would start looking for visual aids quite quickly, and that would be a slippery slope to using P again.

Best advice would probably be to use your newly-found strength, confidence and self-esteem to go out and find yourself a partner!

[Light]

For me, masturbation is a no-go. I try to steer clear of pornography and masturbation entirely, it just simplifies things considerably. Just my 2 cents. I'm sure others will disagree or have solid arguments to support or argue against this stance.

[FoolishMind]

I think if your single and not a PA, then MB is cool in moderation.
If your with a partner, no.

If your a PA or recovering PA wether single or not, no MB.

Being British, thats my 2 pence worth! slightly stronger then cents! ;)

[Light]

I can understand if you are single...I guess I should clarify, I am in a relationship with a healthy amount of intimacy. Just be careful masturbation does not lead you back to porn and you will be ok :)

[Dominus]

I think porn addiction and masturbation are very seperate items, I often used to look at porn without masturbating, porn is degrading and you can never be satisfied by it, there will always be a better looking pornstar or more explicit scene to be searched for, enveloping us in a endless degrading spiral.

Masturbation I dont think is a thing to be encouraged or to permit to become a habit, but the temptation can be a good opportunity for developing self control.

[seeker]

MB while single is perfectly acceptable provided it does not interfere with your ability to pursue a relationship or at the very least a regular dating routine. I know that I abused MB when I was single but I also realize that there are safe limits. It is a very natural behavior that you should not necessarily attach any guilt towards UNLESS it becomes a problem.

MB will in a relationship or married should only be considered if your partner is unavailable sexually- distance, timing, etc. Again, I believe that if not abused it is perfectly natural. Perhaps it is my non-religious bias, but I don't see the harm for the majority of men. It's us perverts that have lost our privileges through rampant abuse.

[big_ron69]

I think that masturbation w/o porn is a big step and i only wish that i could do that. congradualtions to anyone who can achieve this.

[Zibble]

Hi everyone,

I think the answer to this question depends on two other questions. The first is whether masturbating prevents you from having or pursuing a healthy sexual relationship. In my case, for example, I'm fairly sure that back when I was masturbating a couple times a day it played a role in making it difficult for me to connect with my girlfriend, both physically and emotionally. There might be a decent argument that it will *always* get in the way of your real relationships, but I'm not sure about that.

The other question that matters is whether masturbating gets in the way of your being able to respect other people in your life, including people you're sexually attracted to. Really, I think, this is the fundamental reason to quit porn: it undermines your ability to relate to other people on a basis of respect. This is because it trains you to think of sexuality--a really important part of human life--as a part of life where respect is not required. The people on the computer screen give you what you want without your having to show them any respect at all. You don't have to invest yourself or make any sacrifices for them, as you would have to if you respected someone that you wanted to give you love, comfort, pleasure, or whatever. Similarly (someone might argue) masturbating while thinking about a cute girl you know, or about whoever else gets you excited, is a way of getting your thrill from her without having to respect her. If that's a good argument, then masturbation will always be wrong, because it always undermines your ability to relate to people on a basis of respect.

(Also, for people like us who are trying to kick some really bad habits, masturbation is probably especially bad because the things we're likely to think about while we masturbate will be images or ideas that we picked up by looking at porn, and these images or ideas are going to be especially disrespectful to other people.)

That's my $0.02.

Best,
Zibble