almost missed this forum - prayer

[dave]

I had a really rough nite ( posted in my journal) and I prayed and prayed. It seemed to no avail. I know that sounds shallow. But I cried out for some comfort and direction and I felt worse and worse. I made it through the nite but I sure would have liked to have felt God's nearness. I live in hope faith.

[HalfPint]

I hear yah dave. I know, right after I look at porn and masturbate I feel so afar away from God. I don't feel his love, I don't feel his warmth or his touch and thats exactly what I need. I have cried myself as well wishing for that feeling right after porn, because its like you almost feel vulnerable and alone, like theres nothing there for you or no one there for you, the feeling sucks. Thats one of the reasons why I'm trying so hard to stop, because when I'm not looking at porn I feel so much closer to God than I ever am while I am looking at porn.

[CRM114]

Originally Posted by dave

I had a really rough nite ( posted in my journal) and I prayed and prayed. It seemed to no avail. I know that sounds shallow. But I cried out for some comfort and direction and I felt worse and worse. I made it through the nite but I sure would have liked to have felt God's nearness. I live in hope faith.

It doesn't sound shallow at all. Being farther and farther away from where you really want to be in life is scary a feeling. I think putting your ego aside and praying is the wisest thing you can do in times like this.

Journaling (and this site) have been like a life raft in a stormy ocean. If that's all I can cling to for now, then I certainly will.

I appreciated your kind words on my forum and you deserve them back. Good luck to you buddy! And JUST KEEP WRITING!

[Rowlf]

For me, there are just some times I can't feel God's love. I think these are the times when we need community to hold us and kind of do our believing for us - until we are ready to know real life again.

Dave, you are held in God's love, even if you can't feel it right now. You will someday soon. And we're around to just hold that space for you.

Rowlf

[Vilema]

I'm sorry you had such a rough night last night. I know what you mean though. It happens to me a lot. I'm sure my pa has much to do with it but I don't know. My faith hangs by a thread these days...to the point that most days I don't even know if I have any for myself anyway. But I still believe in it for others. I do hope that this season will pass quickly for you Dave. I'm sending you a big hug!