Grateful for 3 years in a new clean life

[dave]

I came to TTF in April of 2008 an emotional wreck. I was trapped in a pattern of daily M and P compulsion that had ruled my mind for decades. This site was one of the keys to my recovery.

Early in my recovery I visited hereevery day and posted many days. It became part of my new routine.
Initially I 'White Knuckled' my way into weeks, then months of clean time. Those early months were really tough. Sometime I'll have to go back and read some of my entries from then . . . .
The move to 'recovery' and serenity took awhile longer - indeed continues today.
Now after 3 years clean it is hard to recall how rough I felt back then. This new life has left those compulsions largely behind.

I am on a 'maintainance' style of recovery now. I have a morning devotional every day that includes reading SAA related material "Out of the Shadows". As well I receive a daily generic 12 step meditation from Hazeldon (free!) on my smartphone.

Overall, recovery is great. I still guard myself against overly graphic media, but most of the time I can move past the 'eye candy' that once led me to act out with P and M. I have an active faith that although far to the left of many christians, realizes the mysteries of G are greater than my daily compulsions and that there is a healthy pathway for my life that is far from my former addictied lifestyle.

I am thankful for this site. I encourage all newcomers to take it a day at a time, find strong supports and move forward. It does get better. At age 59 I realize that my old patterns will never be gone. I still have some tough days, but I know that I can make it through if I practice what I know.

Best regards to all - especially those who offer leadership to this site.

[Phil413]

Way to go, Dave! =D>

Congratulations on three years of freedom!

Phil

[JenMac]

Hi Dave!
Happy to hear that you are still doing well! I remember you from when I first arrived at this site as you were one of the members who gave me hope in the beginning stages of this journey.
I like that you still maintain some connection to this daily through your readings and making time for your own healing and continued attention to this. I think that is so very important!
My H Mac and I have been here for the past year and we are continuing to work our way through all of our thoughts and feelings in relation to this and to the rebuilding of our relationship. Hearing stories such as yours is so very important to us as we move ahead. I thank you for stopping in to give us a glimpse of your success!
All the best to you and yours Dave!
Jenn

[Jon Doe 109]

Dave, you are very inspiring - thanks for your post - I hope I can get there one day - I can't imagine 3 years clean at this point - congratulations!

[IN NEED OF HELP]

=D>This is some very good news to hear Dave. You are a very big encouragement to all of us here. I wish you many more days clean from this addiction

[exteberria]

That was quite an inspiring post!