Hope and Despair

[HopeandDespair]

As of today I have managed to abstain from P and MB for 1 week. This is the first time I've done this in almost 8 years. I owe it entirely to the hope that I have found on these discussion boards. Today I realize that I am not alone in this. . . that there are others that suffer as I do. I am trying to keep an open mind, and am grateful for the guidance that has been provided from those that have come before me. I have cravings to watch P and MB every day, but I have been coming to this site instead which has provided me with a safe outlet to express what I'm going through to those that understand. I pray for the continued guidance and strength to overcome this addiction. I am just one click away from jumping right back into it, which the failures from my past remind me of. Pain breeds willingness, and I am currently in a lot of pain. I'm grateful to have found a safe place to confide. Thank you

[JenMac]

HI HopeandDespair!
I am glad to see that you have committed to a life free of P. Even though you are struggling at the moment, I feel certain that you won't regret your decision in the future!
Not sure if anyone has mention a filter to you? When you say you are one click away, it makes me think you do not have one installed at the moment. I would strongly suggest that you do install filters to help you resist when those urges are strong. It just means that you are putting your plan in place while your head is clear.
I am so glad that you are feeling the support of the members here at TTF, isn't that awesome? I know for me, on the other side of this, it meant so much to me to know I was not alone!
All the best to you HD!
Stay strong!
Jenn

[Phil413]

I am just one click away from jumping right back into it, which the failures from my past remind me of.

Jenn's right, my friend, you need to get a filter on that computer pronto! Try K9; it's free, and it's effective. Make a really long password of random numbers and letters, write it down (in case you have a legitimate need to adjust the filter), and then bury that password where you can't easily reach it.

Until you do that, you're like an alcoholic living in a liquor store. If you don't put some obstacles between you and P you will relapse. I'd almost guarantee it.

Phil

[RobP413]

Agree with Jen and Phil, amigo. Just remember that 1 week is not the goal.. KEEP going! Every day! Tomorrow included, just as important as today!

Anything you can do to step things up, and make sure you succeed TOMORROW, I'm all for it.