100 day

[Athenon]

Hello all, (Sorry if I kinda quit posting for a little while. I didn't had internet anymore and it took a while to get it back.)

On october 12 I joined TTF and started my celibacy contract with an objective of 90 days. This was not my first attempt at a celibacy contract. This time with the help of TTF I managed to hold my ground through the most difficult stages and I can now proudly say that I've been sober from P and MB for 100 days.

I'm not going to watch P ever again but I am not sure about MB. I have to admit that I am afraid of doing MB again. I am afraid of what will happen in my head. I have to say that the celibacy contract has fulfilled my expectations. I have regained control over my fantasies. They do not dominate my mind or my actions anymore. I can even say that pushing the thoughts and urges is easier then it ever been. I can't remember a time in my life where I could say I had so much control over my impulses. I got a new computer and a new internet connection and I haven't installed a filter yet and I have not felt compelled to look at P in any way. I know it's right there through the push of a button but I'm not going there and it's not that hard. I have to say that writing this last sentence kinda brought a mini urge but it's like there's no buildup anymore. I think I can manage without a filter and that is beyond what I expected in term of recovery at this moment.

I think I'm gonna start posting again in my journal because although I feel I'm in control now I know that I am still an addict and this still scare the shit out of me.

Thank you TTF members, your support has been crucial in my success in recovery.

THANK YOU ! :)

[dave]

Congratulation !
100 single days in a row is a great acccomplishment.
What do you think are some of the major tools you use daily that help you?

Dave

[Athenon]

What do you think are some of the major tools you use daily that help you?

In the first weeks I was writing in this forum many times a day. I was addicted to this forum. This really helped me stay focused when I was alone at home. I was reading books like for example daily meditation for men and women recovering from sexual addiction and this helped also keeping my mind in tune with my inner self and in a spiritual mindset. I have developped a technique to deal with the urges and the physical buildup (increasing hearthbeat, panick, losing control, uncontrollable erection, etc.). This technique is to just refocus on the now. To do this you just take a deep breath and try to feel your presence radiating in your surrounding, you can also try to feel yourself in your legs and in your arms all at the same time. This tend to take the focus away from the buildup and stoping it. This has worked tremendously well for me. The internet filter was also a great help. Talking about my recovery with close friends has also been a great tool in keeping my focus and overcoming the difficult times. Also I think keeping stress to a minimum was crucial too. I have cut ties with many people who weren't positive in my life and I tried to keep a low profile for a while. I also took good care of me, i took long bath to relax, ate well and had a few TV series marathon. Most importantly though and on a day to day basis i was totally honnest with myself and convinced that this addiction was strong and not to be taken lightly. I have been dead serious about my recovery and it worked.

Hope this can help some you guys. :)

[Daniel]

Athenon,

This is outstanding news! Congratulations! 100 Days... such a great accomplishment.

Beyond that, the real gem is to hear about your life coming under control, not feeling like you're a slave anymore.

Isn't it glorious!?

Thank you for coming back in and sharing this piece of good news. Everyone will be encouraged by it.

Daniel

[jrock123]

Athenon - congratulations on an outstanding achievement. I think its impossible for a porn addict to know what they have lost while addicted to porn. once you get through some level of detox, you have an entirely different perspective that you didn't think was possible. To me it was an "enlightenment" phase or possibly a self discovery phase. it feels great!!! I am proud of you and that you were able to obtain the new perspective. Keep it up!!!! Thanks for an inspirational post. I appreciate it.