Hey Wreck, and welcome to TTF. I cannot lay claim to understanding your situation, as I personally have never been in it. However, we are all on the same journey here. If you want my advice on helpful things, I suggest taking a look around this site. It has alot to offer, from information regarding P and what you can do to stop your PA. I also recommend starting a journal at the Journal section here. It can help you kkep track of your progress and allow others to support you at the same time.
Here are some links to other journals I found rather inspiring.
Long walk to freedom - Vorlan (Ben)'s Recovery Journal This is Vorlan's journal, one of the senior members here at TTF.
Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Days AE's journal. Another awesome one as well.
Vilema draws a line in the sand... Vilema's journal. I found her journal very inspiring and helpful, as she as been through alot of hardship, but still keeps a remarkable attitude towards life.