[dave]

I appreciate the responses. I am at 90 days P and M free and our relationship is growing. My wife has showed interest in this site and we are talking quite freely.

But I have had a few emotional meltdowns - not so much tempted to use P and M but just generally unstable. At a deeper level I still feel so ashamed of the journey I have followed for so long. When I get like this - full of tears - I am afraid that she finds it hard to take - she says not so - but it is embarassing to be so emotional. I was not often like this when using P. I imagine it is still part of my withdrawl. My emotional balance was being medicated by daily ( or more often ) P and M and now I am free of that my system is finding balance.