[Newman]

Dave,
As one of the other over 50 members here I thought I'd drop you a line. I, too, have been married for over 30 years. For most of those years I used porn. It escalated over time until I was taking more and more chances and engaging in more and more dangerous behavior. A few months ago I decided to seek professional help, for the second time.

All during that time I was unsatisfied with the physical relationship I had with my wife. She does not "need" a sexual relationship. I did and still do. Her seemingly uncaring attitude toward my needs in this regard created a great deal of bitterness and resentment in me. I believe that this resentment and bitterness was part of a vicious cycle that included SA/PA. The more I wanted frequent intimacy with my wife (which I didn't get) the more I turned to P, and the more I used P, the more I longed for frequent intimacy with my wife.

After some testing a psychologist determined that I was suffering from long term, low grade, chronic depression. She, with input from my physician, recommended a low dose of fluoxetine (Prozac). The medication initially had a tremendously beneficial effect. It resolved my depression and anxiety and greatly reduced my urge / compulsion to view porn. However, it also had the effect of reducing my libido and preventing me from reaching climax.

As you might suspect, this was a rather embarrassing situation. But, since my wife has been supportive, we were able to discuss this openly and deal with it. The effect of the medication has worn off somewhat. My compulsive urges regarding P are still greatly reduced to the level that I can manage them. Further, my libido has returned to an acceptable level along with the ability to reach climax. My relationship with my wife is probably better than it has been in over a decade.

I won't presume to offer advice. I simply hope that from my experience you might find something that helps. Good luck. Life is much better without porn.