[Medium]

Hey Dave,

Just read your message today. I don't know if I can offer good advice. I don't know if it's P or MB that is the battle you are fighting. You mentioned double standards a few times and for me that's the big thing, whether it's P or MB. It sounds like I have a fairly similar relationship with my wife. We've been married for only 8 years, but our sex life is probably less active than yours. This is not enough for me and hence my justification for indulgence also, but I haven't tried counselling yet with my wife. Have you told your wife that this is not enough? Have you asked her if she minds if you MB? Maybe if that works for you it isn't the worst thing. I don't know if that goes against what you are trying to do. For me that wouldn't work, because I have small kids and a young wife and I believe that (although perhaps un-justifiably) I can control my urge for sex and not that it controls me.

I gave up earlier in the year for 2 months and then relapsed for 3. I've only just got back on board to try to kick this habit again. My reasons for trying a second time are mostly about trying to be honest with those around me (mostly my wife and kids). I don't know if I can do it (be honest that is), and it doesn't seem like a lot to ask, but for years of cheating and lying, it's a well entrenched habit.

I'm only a week in, but I'm expecting the emotional rollercoaster ride to begin again before long. I had some pretty big emotional swings last time. Good luck. Hope you find some resolve whichever way you choose.