[Vilema]

It's amazing how many changes can take place in just 4 days...

My last post was a downer. I mentioned how lonely and miserable I was. Today things have significantly improved. Yesterday I told my boss that I'd like to work a different shift if one becomes available. I just got a phone call from them today indicating that my schedule has been changed. Now, I work 12-9am Sat-Wed. This is FANTASTIC news! I am so excited. I can actually do things with my friends and family on the weekends and I can do things in the evenings before I have to go to work. Life just got a whole lot brighter for me. Hooray!

In other (more important) news, I've been p and mb, overating and overspending free for 6 whole days. It feels wonderful. I've taken up crocheting and other crafts as well as bought a Wii all of these things are keeping me pretty busy and taking my mind off p, mb, et al. I'm so glad.

I was tempted the other day to watch p and mb. Thankfully, the p temptation quickly passed but the mb temptation lasted a bit longer. I personally don't want to engage in mb anymore. For me, it's too closely connected with the p. I am proud to report that I just busied myself with croteching instead (gives my hands something useful to do).

Additionally, I'm doing really well with my weight loss and my self esteem. I still have about 50lbs to lose but can already see the results. I'm participating in a wonderful program called the Wellness Bridge and I've never been so successful. They teach lifestyle changes and explain what exactly your food choices do to your body's funcitonality. I've lost around 8 lbs and nearlly 14 inches in 5 weeks. My clothes are getting looser, I had to buy some smaller pants and I think the fellows are noticing. Most importantly, I feel good because I'm taking care of myself.

Another great thing I was to report is that for the first time in my life, I'm not weirded out by the attention I'm starting to get. I've always been a pretty girl and before (for reasons I don't understand though I'm CERTAIN stem from issues with my father) I always felt guilty for it or chose not to believe it. Now, I not only feel pretty but I feel good about it. And I don't feel like I'm being conceited - just (for the first time in my life) doing an honest self evaluation and accepting myself WHERE I AM while I strive to grow in maturity and health. This is a great place to be and I'm thankful for it.

Speaking of issues with my father. I think I'll write a lengthy post about that later today or tomorrow. I'd like to get some feedback from you all about some of the weird things my dad did and/or said to me as I started to develop (and no, he NEVER molested me and certainly never said anything sexy to me - quite the contrary actually).

Well, I'm off to do some dishes and get catch a few Z's before my mom comes to pick me up for our weekly trip to walk the dogs at the local animal shelter. I'm crazy about a little beagle named Sam there. I'd love to adopt him but can't have a pet in my apartment. Sigh.