[Dominus]

Hi Justinian, I have been there myself, but for longer, same filters - complete with workarounds, same feeling that I am being punished, same feeling that it is beyond my control, and I really truly from my heart feel for you. I am 40 years old, it all started with clothing catalogues with the girls in lingerie when I was a teenager and has steadily progressed ever since. Right now I am on day 13 since I last looked at porn, but I no longer think I can beat it, I know I cannot - at least not alone.... My best advise that I can give you is that you need to involve someone to help you on a day by day basis, in my case my wife. If you have no one then you need to consider serious methods like ridding yourself of the computer completely out of the house. - A drug addict wouldnt be aided to abstain if they kept looking at a packet of drugs on the mantelpiece. Also sometimes when I start to look at porn I make myself turn off the computer and clear the cache, then I feel proud of myself for having the willpower, a small victory. Pornography addiction is regarded by some as being more difficult to break free from than drugs or alchohol as you can continue to feed on mental images, if you start to have flashbacks change the subject quick even if you dont want to, when you think about past images the mental synaptic paths get re-inforced and the shorter time its in your brain the less damage it will do. If I can advise or help you in any way I am happy too, its really tough, I dont know how long I can manage myself, but every day is a victory for me and it can be for you too.