[bob]

Hi justinian66,

What you've been through at a relatively young age would lead to depression and no doubt you are suffering.
One thing I would like to mention here, fighting any form of addiction is not very easy and it may stretch to lifetime but you don't have to be disheartened about it as there are millions fighting the same battle. Now the interesting thing is that you are fighting against your own urges, and win or loss is entirely upon you. This is not easy as you are trying not to be the person you've been for so long but if you can say "no" at the very moment you are the weakest, then you'll see that its not very difficult at all.

If you are not able to really resist your urges then no damn filters in world can resist you from doing things.

So you need to be strong and hang in there, and believe me its gets easier as it goes.

God be with you

Bob