These are reposted snippets from other posts I've made on the boards.
Q 1: You don't understand, my sex drive is much higher than the average person.
Answer: "Most men with porn addiction claim they are more sexual than the average person thereby rationalizing their need to rely upon porn. In most
cases their sexual batteries are charged up because of their behavior, focusing on the sex act for many hours a day, and not their genetics."
While I agree that people can be more or less "sexually charged" than an average person, I think that those habits are largely the result of your behaviour.
Since I have been there and taken a walk in your shoes, I can say that as long as you are using porn and feeding the monster (or habit) it will continue to feel like it has control over you.
I think it is possible for you (and all of us) to get to a place of more "normal" sexuality. If we removed porn from our lives entirely for a couple of years, I'm confident that the desire to MB would drastically decrease.
There is a saying that goes something like "what you think about expands" which is related to another quote "you can judge a tree by it's fruits."
I think our situation is no different. If you feed your addiction every day, take care of it, nurture it, and spend time (sometimes hours a day), you can bet it's going to take up a good root in your head, and after a while, you're going to think it was always there, a part of you. In reality, it isn't you at all, you've just been feeding and taking care of it till it can overcome you whenever it wants.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q 2: I've decided I want to quit MB and stop looking at Porn. Where do I start?
A: As for what I can recommend, I would say for starters:
-Get rid of all the porn. This means anything you have used in the past to get aroused, vhs, dvd, magazines, etc.
-Get rid of the "soft porn" as well. While it's not as bad, it can trigger you to look for porn and encourage negative habits. That means magazines like Maxim, FHM, etc. Anything like that needs to go. If you are honest with yourself, you know what this list entails for you.
-Make a list of what triggers you and when. Work out a plan for dealing with these triggers, how you can avoid them, and deal with the ones you can't avoid.
-Turn off the computer as much as you can.
-Move the computer to a busy area in your living space.
-Don't use your computer when you are alone.
-Become a more spiritual person (this doesn't mean religion if that offends you). Meditate, get control of your mind.
-Be disciplined in other areas of your life and it will spill over to this area as well.
-Funnel all your extra energy into your partner or significant other if you have one, and relationships.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q 3: I've tried quitting porn and MB before, but a funny thing happened - I got irritable and snappy toward my wife/surroundings. I then relapsed back into viewing/masturbating, because I didn't think becoming a nervous wreck was worth it.
A 3: If you get irritable, I think that is normal reaction to expect. Have you ever been around someone who is trying to quit coffee or cigarettes? Or worse, drugs or alcohol? It's not pretty. You are denying yourself something that you are conditioned to having and your body is reacting to it not being there.
Work out new ways to relieve stress that are healthy and beneficial. The biggest one that's helped me is simple exercise. Start going for a walk every day, or go to a gym, etc. There are lots of thing you could do to get through that tough detox period.
I think that after you have made it a month, you will start to see that what you thought you needed and what you really need are not the same thing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q 4: It's ok if I just look at porn now and then, right? A little a day won't hurt anything?
A 4: Porn is totally the "gateway drug" to even worse and more harmful sexual activity. I have read and known of too many people who have bought into the lie that a bit of daily porn won't hurt anything. It so destructive which is why I am so thrilled to finally find a place where we can talk about this and work towards eliminating it from our lives! (from PressingOn)
I think "a little a day" is an argument by a person who doesn't want to admit it could be (or already is) a problem, but they don't want to give up their drug of choice yet.
If you are ok with destroying your relationships, killing all intimacy if you have a partner, and slowly pushing people away, becoming more and more isolated and alone, then a little a day is ok I guess.
But that person will not be me! Or you I hope.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q 5: I don't look at hardcore porn, surely softcore porn now and then couldn't be harmful to me?
A 5: The internet and porn addiction can take you places you never thought you would go when you started looking in the first place. If you have ever read histories of long time porn addicts, many started with soft core forms of porn and gradually migrated to more and more odd and violent forms of porn. This addiction can go from a "habit," or something you wouldn't classify as a "problem" and quickly escalate into something that controls you instead of the other way around.
Porn becomes a problem when it affects your choices, when you go to it for emotional comfort, when you spend increasing amounts of your free time seeking it out, when it begins to change your thought patterns, habits, and actions. Also, when it desensitizes you from things that you would have found repulsive before porn entered your life, and when it so colors your outlook on things that when you see members of the opposite sex, you can only think of them in terms of sexual objects.